Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 4

"My Grandmother, debora" ApplyTexas Essay Topic A

debora 1 / 1  
Nov 28, 2011   #1
Apply Texas Topic A

I need help with my essay!!!

Throughout life, we meet many people who impact our lives for better or for worse. Sometimes we do not realized how important that person can be until we are about to lose that loved one. For me that person is my grandma, Celsa Chavez Leal. She has shown me that life has many difficulties, but we have to accept what god gives us and make the best of it.

When I was twelve my grandma suffered a stroke. I remember my mom and me rushing to the hospital to visit her. As soon as I saw her lying on a bed, tears started to fill my eyes and I ran to give her a hug. I was not use to see her so weak and fragile and the thought of losing her made shiver. When she saw me crying she said, "Don't worry, you will have grandma for several years more". That visit to the hospital made me realize how important she was for me and the great impact she has made in my life.

My grandma overcame this illness. She never lost hope and everyday she is trying her best to have a normal life. I could not imagine what I would do without her and her advices. She has always been there for me to congratulate me for my achievements and correct me from my mistakes. When I am going through hardships such as moving to another country I always think of her because it inspires me to continue and give my outmost in everything I do to become a better person.

My Grandmother has left an impact in my life that will last a lifetime and has helped me to become the person I am today.
eek736 1 / 1  
Nov 28, 2011   #2
Good essay. There are a few grammatical mistakes a few word changes you may want make but other then that, its pretty good.
Jstuff36 5 / 17  
Nov 28, 2011   #3
I was not use to see her so weak and fragile
I was not use to seeing her so weak and fragile

I would avoid cliche endings like the last sentence. Admission counselors here them over and over.
OP debora 1 / 1  
Nov 28, 2011   #4
thanks for the comments

Home / Undergraduate / "My Grandmother, debora" ApplyTexas Essay Topic A