great culture and location; University of Michigan - Supplemental Essay (#2)

prompt: (Required for all applicants. 500 words maximum) Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate College or School (including preferred admission and dual degree programs) to which you are applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests?

response: Well to start off I am attracted to the University of Michigan as a whole because of its great culture and location. Out of all of the college towns worldwide Ann Arbor is consistently ranked among the best so the prospect of possibly. Another one of the reasons why I was attracted to the University of Michigan was its unique learning community's philosophy. When I was looking at colleges initially on of the few requirements that I had was the college needed to be bigger than my high school (around twelve-hundred students). So the University of Michigan definitely fit that standard, however initially I was a little bit cautious of jumping to that big on an extreme. However when I was able to tour the campus my guide pointed out all of the different communities that you can join and inadvertently be a part of. She also brought up a very good point that it is a lot easier to make a big cool smaller than the other way around. Another reason why I am so attracted to the University of Michigan and specifically the college of literature, science, and art is the many reheard opportunities. In this current day and age one of the most important things that you can do during your time in college is do influential research and get published. Research is also especially important when Research is also especially important when you're looking to go into medicine like I am. At Michigan there is even a learning community that you can join soul to help in finding research opportunities. One of the last qualities of the University of Michigan that I plan on taking of advantage of would be the dual degree program. Currently I have a fairly good idea of what kind of job I could see myself having but the ability to try multiple areas is very comforting. Also I plan on taking classes in many different areas of study just so I can make sure that I am majoring in the right field of study, and since University of Michigan offers thousands of classes to underclassmen that will be very easy for me to do. The final aspect of Um that I would take advantage of is the sprawling recreational teams system that is in place. Growing up I always had a passion of sports which eventually led me to play varsity soccer for two years, so having the ability to still play informally is very exciting to me.

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*Please be as straight forward as possible, I don't need people to lie to me to build up my self confidence. I know that I suck at writing so it would be much more useful to list 1,000,000 things I need to change rather than.... Oh thats a great essay. I wont be offended I promise!:)*

HI ,

I am also beginner like you . But, looking at your essay , I guess , I will not impress the university people . I guess better you look at sample essays for universities ( SOP Statement of Purpose ) where you can find a lot in internet. Surf and read some of them then you can get different ideas . I read some of them while I was applying to universities and they look quite interesting and they use different metaphors and make interesting . It was a good attempt you have done. You wrote the essay truly as per your view , but the expect more .

"Research is also especially important when Research is also especially important when you're looking to go into medicine like I am."

Watch out for small errors like this one. You accidentally repeated yourself.

My overall impression is that this won't be a very strong essay. It sounds too generic. Try doing some research on the university, watch some youtube videos where students that attend UM talk about their experience. This should help you craft a better essay. Good luck.

Well... I like if you presented this more creatively rather than letting it seem like a list of things. You say you like its culture and location. Then talk more about them and say what features of them you like. Spend some time explaining that to the reader before you touch on the other reason.

It's a really great start to your supplement. But while reading it I felt like I was reading more of a brochure for the school and a general overview. Definitely incorporate more details. Talk about what exact classes, what exact clubs/programs, maybe even research on their website about a specific faculty member. They wanna know that you are really in love with the school and know a lot about it.