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The Great Depression / Economics - Transfer Application Essay for Georgia Tech

jakefire10 1 / -  
Aug 30, 2019   #1
Hi! I'm applying to transfer to Georgia Tech as an Economics major and have had to complete 2 essays as part of the application. The first essay has to be within 300 words and the second essay has to be within 250 words. I have had trouble portraying better writing ability when also trying to get my point across within the short word count.

why Georgia Tech and the chosen major

Why do you want to study your chosen major at Georgia Tech, and what opportunities at Georgia Tech will prepare you in that field after graduation? (300 words)

Learning about The Great Depression is what helped me appreciate the role and purpose that economics serves in our society. Researching this event pushed me towards a basic understanding of global, national, and local economies. I wish to study Economics at Georgia Tech because I hope to broaden my understanding of economics and learn more about the deeper theory underlying this subject.

Specifically, I believe that the opportunities available at Tech stem from two distinct areas. First of all, society is becoming more technologically based. More of our innovations are based on technological advances. The fact that Georgia Tech is primarily a Technical school helps to build a foundation for any student attempting to thrive in the real world, but this especially holds true in the field of economics because every country's economy is entirely affected by their level of industrialization. This is demonstrated through some of the courses available in the Economics curriculum. For example, an engineering/science elective is required as well as a modeling class (ME 1770/CS 1316). I believe that the technical background that Georgia Tech offers with an economics degree is invaluable considering the current technological age of today.

Secondly, Georgia Tech has access to entrepreneurial resources such as ATDC and student-led-clubs such as Startup Exchange which can allow me to supplement my education with more physical applications in terms of the framework of a business or startup. Having entrepreneurial resources creates an atmosphere at Georgia Tech which allows for ideation leading to production. In terms of my chosen major in Economics, I believe that guiding or advising a new business can help me gain experience of how economics applies in the real world. In conclusion, these unique traits of Georgia Tech will allow me to be a well-rounded member of society after graduation.

One at a time.

Maria - / 1,099 389  
Sep 5, 2019   #2
Hi there. Welcome to the forum! I apologize for the delay; however, I hope that you find all of this to be beneficial for your writing endeavors. If you do, please do not hesitate to approach us for more.

First and foremost, the first paragraph lacks that general representation of what you ought to represent throughout your writing. Because of the lack of detail, it is quite difficult to tell how the text is to be interpreted. When you're trying to introduce a general statement (ie. as what you had done in the first paragraph's second sentence), you should be able to build it up. This is why it is integral to ensure that you're adding as much content as much as possible.

Furthermore, the last paragraph does not appear to have a proper enclosure for the concluding remarks. As per usual, I recommend that you create a separate paragraph for the concluding remarks to ensure that you are not missing out on details. Remember that the conclusion should be more than merely categorizing all of the details into one space - rather, the concluding remarks should be able to expound why it was necessary for you to establish the uniqueness of your writing.
quavius 3 / 4 2  
Sep 6, 2019   #3
Hello, I admire your passion for your choice, and it seems like you have a big decision of your schooling career locked down.

I think the biggest piece missing in your essay is your passion. Even though you cite your interest, as the reader, I'm getting more of the sense that you want to pursue this field since GT has great facilities. You're writing about what the school can do for you, rather than what you can do for the school. I would reorganize the essay to combine the important aspects of both paragraphs into one while adding a paragraph about what you are planning to do with that experience. You hint at it with your entrepreneurial spirit, but I think if you expand upon it, it'll shine on who you are as a person and your motivations, while also reinforcing that you have a plan of using the school's resources to do something like no one else can.

Hope that helps!

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