What makes you a perfect candidate for FIT? Why are you interested in the major you are applying to?
"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world." This quote by Harriet Truman said the defining truth about my goal in life. I want to be a fashion designer, not just to make money off it, but I believe I can make clothes that speak to the people ,and hopefully transform their lives. Fashion Institute of Technology is the only college that can help me accomplish this goal, and make a difference in my life. I also know through hard work, and dedication the impossible dream becomes possible. Through self-belief and motivation my dream of being a fashion designer can become a reality.
My story started in elementary school. Ever since I was in 4th grade I knew I wanted to create, and do something in the art industry, but I didn't know what. I first wanted to become an architect, but then I realized architecture was not for me. My 7th grade year was the most defining year of my life. That's the year I have seen my first fashion show, and I fell in love with fashion. I never knew that art could be incorporated into clothing, and make it look so sophisticated. When I discovered my goal in life I knew it was not going to be easy, but I was determined. I always carry a sketchbook with me just in case I get inspired by something at any moment. To me fashion design is not just making glamorous clothes, and then selling it off.To me fashion designing is bringing out the much needed change in this world. That change is whenever people hear about the word fashion the first thing that comes to their mind is revealing or sexy. I want to change that. To me fashion is being modest. It is about creating glamorous clothes that fit well with your culture, and yet being unique in it. I want people to look at the most glamorous women with my cloths on, and say "That is beautiful."
During high school, I made an effort to take advantage of our fashion design program. I received an A in that class, and learned a lot about different types of textures, Mood Boards Etc,. I committed 100 hours of community service in 2 years to the Minnesota Childrens Museum. Serving the community has been an honor and always be. They say the little things are the ones that make a large difference, and I was proud to be part of such service in my community. 2013 was a breathtaking year in my life, because that's the year I was a proud recipient of the 2013 Academic Brilliance award. An award given once every year for maintaining a high GPA. I never actually considered myself worthwhile to receive this award, because I never really understood the meaning of receiving it. That year, I learned that through hard-work nothing is impossible. I can confidently say I am prepared for college, and a career as a fashion designer. I have learned sewing in less than 6 months, and I have interned at a 500 fortune company during my senior year. I was recruited by a non-profit organization named Genesys Work. Genesys Works is a non-profit organization that helps high school seniors to succeed in the corporate world by giving them 8 weeks of intensive summer training in IT and Business. I personally received 90% on both of these courses, therefore I got an internship at St.Jude Medical. I have the business skills and the IT to succeed in anything if I put my mind through.
College was the first thing that spoke to me. Someone recommended me to look into FIT, since it was one of the best fashion schools in the U.S . Fashion Institute of Technology to me was not just any other college on my list, but was the only reason I started out to plan for my life as a fashion designer. You need to know how to sew to be in FIT. I had no idea how to start a sewing machine, and they expected me to sew. I was so scared, but I knew I could not give up so easily on it so I made a plan. First things were first I had to start sketching my ideas, and understand the fashion figure. Then from there I would build up myself step by step. One thing that stood-out about FIT when compared with other schools is that the school allows one to start his or her major as soon as he or she steps through the doors. FIT was the reason I became more indulge in fashion. In the process of getting ready to be in FIT, I totally became a different person. I became what they called fashion-forward person. I sewed my graduation dress, and made a mini collection that consists of a dress, top, pant and a skirt. I was excited about the fact that I would be going to school with people who had the same ambition as I, because together we all can work to create a better world for fashion. Attending FIT will not just increase my knowledge in fashion, but will also open doors for my future. FIT is also very notable for employing trained professionals in the industry to teach the students.
Five years from now I will be interning at a fashion powerhouse, mainly J.Crew, Tom Ford or Valentino. More importantly, 10 years from then I will hopefully create an empire that runs under my name. I will be the very force that changes the world of fashion through modesty. My goal as mentioned earlier is to not just sell of cloths, but to make a difference out of it. It needs to be understood that fashion is anything that respects your body. Fashion lies in the beauty of your cloths not on how "sexy" they are. As much as it is hard to make any change in this world, I am committed to change this world of fashion for the better. Dreams never die as long as the dreamer believes in it. FIT is the only school that can help me be the force of change I am striving to be.
I like your idea! It's true that you can transform someone's life by helping them feel more confident and secure.
"Every great dream... " I personally think it's not good to start an essay with a quote. Everyone says these essays are supposed to 'set you apart' so it's not good to use a common strategy like that. However, I think it's GREAT if you can put the quote somewhere else in the essay. If you refer to it in the middle of a paragraph and talk about it's meaning and how it applies in your envisioned future, that is awesome.
This quote by Harriet Truman
said reflects the defining --- That is just an idea I had... to replace that word. It's only my opinion. Your writing style is great already.
truth about my goal in life. I want to be a fashion designer,
not just to make money off it ---This is probably too slang-ish.
, but
because I believe I can make clothes that speak to the people ,and hopefully transform their lives.
fashion is anything that respects your body
To me, this is the most important part of the essay. The reader will be INTERESTED if you discuss something that pertains to them. That really is most important. Be interesting to the reader, and the reader will favor you. Some people think fashion involves something superficial, but they are totally wrong. Beautiful things are profoundly meaningful. I'd like it if each paragraph of the essay started with a "paragraph topic sentence" (google about that if you don't know what it is) that expresses something about your philosophy of fashion -- and of color, and of self-esteem, and of art.
You can use the examples and explanations about your life and dreams as ways of explaining your philosophy of fashion. The best way to improve your writing, that I can recommend, is to add a sentence to the beginning of each paragraph; make sure each paragraph starts with an interesting sentence that pertains to the main idea of the essay. Thinking about what does fashion have to do with dreams and aspirations, which you talk about in the essay.
: )
I also know that
through hard work (no comma) and dedication
thewill make impossible dream
becomes possible.
Through self-belief and motivation my dream of being a fashion designer can become a reality.
For me, this sentence sounds a bit redundant as it does convey the same idea as the previous one.
College was the first thing that spoke to me
...spoke about what? I like if you were more specific on that !
Overall, I think you have included all important aspects that you need to tell them in this answer. However, pay attention to what Kevin suggested and organize your flow better to convince your reader that you are a right candidate for this course.
You can use the examples and explanations about your life and dreams as ways of explaining your philosophy of fashion. The best way to improve your writing, that I can recommend, is to add a sentence to the beginning of each paragraph; make sure each paragraph starts with an interesting sentence that pertains to the main idea of the essay. Thinking about what does fashion have to do with dreams and aspirations, which you talk about in the essay.
I find this is the best piece of advice for you to make this response a great one. :)
Revised version of my essay
Ever since I was in elementary school, I knew I wanted to do something in the art industry, but I never knew what. It was not until I saw my first fashion show did I fell in love with clothing. I never knew art could be incorporated into cloths, and make it look so sophisticated . The satisfaction that fashion show gave me was mesmerising. That is when I discovered my goal in life, and ever since I have been striving to a great fashion designer.
When I discovered my goal in life I knew it was not going to be easy, but I was determined. I always carry a sketchbook with me just in case I get inspired by something at any moment. To me fashion design is not just making glamorous clothes, and then selling it off. To me fashion designing is bringing out the much needed change in this world. That is whenever people hear about the word fashion the first thing that comes to their mind is revealing or sexy. I want to change that, to me fashion is being modest. It is about creating glamorous clothes that fit well with your culture, and yet being unique in it. I want people to look at the most glamorous women with my cloths on, and say "That is beautiful." I can confidently say I am prepared for college, and a career as a fashion designer. I have learned sewing in 6 months, and interned at a 500 fortune company during my senior year. I was recruited by an organization named Genesys Works. Genesys Works is a non-profit organization that helps high school seniors to succeed in the corporate world by giving them 8 weeks of summer training in IT and Business. I personally received 90% on both of these courses, therefore I got an internship at St.Jude Medical. I have the business skills and the IT to succeed in anything if I put my mind through.
In order to educate myself more, I needed to attend college. I was recommended to look into FIT, since it was one of the best fashion schools in the U.S . Fashion Institute of Technology to me was not just any other college on my list, but was the only reason I started out to plan for my life as a fashion designer. You need to know how to sow to be in FIT. I had no idea how to start a sewing machine, and they expected me to sew. I was so scared, but I knew I could not give up so easily so I made a plan. First things were first I had to start sketching my ideas, and understand the fashion figure. Then from there I would build up myself step by step. One thing that stood-out about FIT when compared with other schools is that the school allows one to start his or her major as soon as he or she steps through the doors. FIT was the reason I became more indulge in fashion. In the process of getting ready to be in FIT, I totally became a different person. I became what they called fashion-forward person. I sewed my graduation dress, and made a mini collection that consists of a dress, top, pant and a skirt. I was excited about the fact that I would be going to school with people who have the same ambition as I, because together we all can work to create a better world for fashion. Attending FIT will not just increase my knowledge in fashion, but will also open doors for my future.
Our future is in the steps we take each day. Five years from now, I will be interning at a fashion powerhouse. Most importantly, 10 years from then I will hopefully create an empire that runs under my name. I will be the very force that changes the world of fashion through modesty. My goal as mentioned earlier is to not just sell of cloths, but to make a difference out of it. It needs to be understood that fashion is anything that respects your body. Fashion lies in the beauty of your cloths not on how "sexy" they are. As much as it is hard to make any change in this world, I am committed to change this world of fashion for the better. Dreams never die as long as the dreamer believes in it. FIT is the only school that can help me be the force of change I am striving to achieve.
