Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 3

'great influence on defining my goals' - Common APP Transfer Essay

djb222 1 / 1  
Jan 13, 2012   #1
Please provide a statement 250 words min that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.

My first year of college at Suffolk University has been eye opening. I have been introduced to people that I will probably be friends for life and I am grateful to have made such great relationships. Suffolk has had a great influence on defining my goals, in the sense of how far I want to be pushed and what to strive for. Suffolk helped me transition from high school to the college life by having many resources available at my fingertips like the Ballotti Learning Center (tutoring center) and the Math Help Center. Even though I had to go few times it set my mind at ease knowing that help was available to me when I needed it, to help my successful in my academia life.

My first semester went terrific at Suffolk both socially and academically as you can see from my transcripts; however my classes did not live up to my expectations. The classes at Suffolk were not as challenging as I hoped. The difficulty level was very similar to my high schools, and I want to be challenged more than what I have been. I am now at the next level of my education therefore the difficulty level should be raised, and I should have to push myself harder.

With transferring to your school I believe that I can have a great social experience, but most importantly be pushed academically. It is important to me that I am pushed because I want to get the most out of my education and be successful after I graduate. Being pushed in school better prepares you with the stresses that come with work. Overall I believe that transferring to your school will fulfill my quest of being pushed academically and still have a great college experience.

GrimRippah 3 / 5  
Jan 13, 2012   #2
My first comment is that you need to balance the essay, because you talk about your current university in two of your three paragraphs, leaving only the last paragraph to say why you wish to transfer.

Also, you repeat the word "Suffolk" too many times, and it becomes tiring.

You have slight grammar issues, such as the inappropriate use of commas. For example:

however, my classes did not live up to my expectations.

Also, The difficulty level was very similar to my high school' s.
cordyceps 3 / 11  
Jan 13, 2012   #3
I like how concise and straight to the point your essay is, although you might want to look at your last paragraph. I understand you want to be 'pushed academically', but it seems like you have the phrase in all of your sentences. I'd suggest rephrasing it a bit...say challenge, or to be mentally/academically excited.

Good luck with your application!

Home / Undergraduate / 'great influence on defining my goals' - Common APP Transfer Essay