So i think the second and third paragraphs are REALLY crappy. Please help!!
Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate College or School to which you are applying at the U. of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests?
Back in the summer of 2006, when I was in 6th grade, I have found that I have the Pectus Excavatum, the most common congenital deformity that cause the ribs on the chest area and the sternum to grow inward, resulting in a sunken looking of the chest, however, the actual cause of the deformity is still unsure among the researchers. I then underwent a surgery by putting a metal stick through my chest and push the sternum out. The stick was inserted through the sides of my body under my armpits for three years; as a consequence, it left the red, visible scars on both sides of my body. Back then when the subject was new to the community, I was one of the experimental patients, hence, the result wasn't as good and I can still see and feel the Pectus Excavatum to some degree. The process was undoubtedly a painful one, a few months of having unendurable pain when coughing, sneezing, getting up, or laying down, plus no contact sport for three years. Today, as the technology grows on an accelerating fashion, the surgery itself is now more effective and less excruciating; it leaves smaller scars, results in a better looking chest.
I, as a first-hand experience person, interest in the Biomedical Engineering field because I wish to help create and develop a growing medical technology into even higher levels. With the will and interest, plus the value of having a clear goal - like in the American Civil War, once Abraham Lincoln release his Emancipation Proclamation, the goal of the soldiers was set to free the slaves in the South and to reunite the country, the Civil War finally came to the end - I will be able to do the job effectively.
But, the will, the interest, and the clear goal aren't enough. In order to reach the goal I set for, I need great skills. And that is where your university comes in to play. With the utility your university has, it will bring me even closer to that goal, to make an even better medical technology.