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"many great things" - What special qualities will you bring to the UCF?


gabeibrahim 1 / -  
Sep 12, 2010   #1
Two essays in one: 1. Why did you decide to apply to UCF? 2. What special qualities will you bring to the university? (paraphrase don't have the words in front of me)

University of Central Florida offers me and all those who apply to it a rare opportunity to study in a place that is a large metropolitan area and a tight knit campus. At other universities, the campus is either tight knit and far from any city or spread over a city's area; Either way the campus provides a inconvenience to the students. At UCF, the students live near all the campus activities and have many ways to access the city of Orlando; You get the best of both worlds. UCF gives the students the tools to have a very close group of friends on campus and job opportunities in a growing area of Orlando. The education you get from the school is supplemented by the job experience in Orlando at places like Disney World and Universal studios. This unmatched balance between a tight campus life, city opportunities and a great education gave me all the reasons I needed to apply to UCF.

As UCF offers me many great things, I will add many great things back to the university. As many students applying to UCF, my academic and school-related achievements speak for themselves ; I've earned my grades through hard work and worked hard in my extra-curricular activities. The different quality that I feel I bring to the school is not measured in hours or grades. I believe my ability to just sit down and let the world go by me makes me unique and special. In today's world, people are moving so fast that they rarely have time to stop and think about the world. People never get a chance to realize the true beauty the world holds or even just figure out their own true beauty. Everyday, I try to take think about my life and my effect on everyone around me. I believe it makes me a better, more relaxed person and someone who is truly in touch with myself. I feel my relaxed lifestyle makes me a better student as I never stress about anything and never feel overwhelmed by school work. While I feel my time in thought makes me better, I'm in no way perfect or close to it. I still have flaws and faults like everyone in this world. The time I take out of everyday simply allows me to see these flaws and possibly fix them--which does not always work. The unique way I live my life hopefully projects out to other people and shows them a different way of looking at things. ((((ending))))
jellyroll1987 2 / 3  
Sep 13, 2010   #2
Good job on getting a draft out, the application process is quite daunting. I did notice a few way in which I believe you can improve your essay, hope this helps :)

The University of Central Florida offers me and all those who apply to it a rare opportunity to study in a place that is both a large metropolitan area and a tight knit campus. At othermany universities, the campus is either tight knit and far from any city or spread over a city's area;. Either way, the campus provides an inconvenience to the students. At UCF,however, the students live near all the campus activities and have many ways to access the city of Orlando; Yy ou get the best of both worlds. UCF gives the students the tools to have a very close group of friends on campus and job opportunities in a growing area of Orlando. The education you get from the school is supplemented by the job experience in Orlando at places like Disney World and Universal studios. This unmatched balance between a tight campus life, city opportunities and a great education gave me all the reasons I needed to apply to UCF.

AsWhile UCF offers me many great thingsopportunities , I will add many great things back to the university. As many students applying to UCF, my academic and school-related achievements speak for themselves ; I've earned my grades through hard work and worked hard in my extra-curricular activities. The different quality that I feel I bring to the school is not measured in hours or grades. I believe my ability to just sit down and let the world go by me makes me unique and special. In today's world, people are moving so fast that they rarely have time to stop and think about the world. People never get a chance to realize the true beauty the world holds or even just figure out their own true beauty. Everyday, I try to take think about my life and my effect on everyone around me. I believe it makes me a better, more relaxed person and someone who is truly in touch with myself. I feel my relaxed lifestyle makes me a better student as I never stress about anything and never feel overwhelmed by school work. While I feel my time in thought makes me better, I'm in no way perfect or close to it. I still have flaws and faults like everyone in this world. The time I take out of everyday simply allows me to see these flaws and possibly fix them--which does not always work. The unique way I live my life hopefully projects out to other people and shows them a different way of looking at things
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Sep 15, 2010   #3
and all those who apply to it

Not all who apply are accepted. This is an unnecessary detail anyway.

rare opportunity it is not a rare opportunity to go to college in a city.

Either way the campus provides a inconvenience convenience to the students.

As UCF offers me many great things, I will add many great things back to the university.
This is not meaningful because the word "things" is so ambiguous. Specify the things the school offers and the things you will add.

In today's world, people are moving so fast that they rarely have time to stop and think about the world. People never get a chance to realize the true beauty the world holds or even just figure out their own true beauty.

This is excellent! So, what are the "things" you will add? I think they include a sense of appreciation, stress management, and study skills. These are good "things" to mention, so do not use the word "things ."


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