I have now learned that the proper time to step on each pad is when the arrow moves up to the top of the screen, rather than the bottom, which my friends were so kind in pointing out. I have also realized that returning to the center after each move can be disastrous to one's health, and it is best if avoided.
There is great potential to turn this part into metaphor for more serious life lessons. That is what I thought you were doing, but you were still talking about the game...
I may not be a DDR champion
If you are going to abbreviate something (which, unless it is used more than once, I wouldn't...) Write it out the first time, as you did in para 1, with the abbreviation in parentheses to signal to the reader that it will henceforth be called DDR.
"Dance Dance Revolution (DDR)..."
The ending?
I may not be a DDR champion, but I will always feel like one inside.
Take this out. It is unimportant to the essay and to your point.
Speaking of your point, you need to expand it. If you tie some real-life metaphor in with your DDR lessons like I said above, it will easily flow to a conclusion. Stear clear of any further reference to the game, though, because many people will not have a clue what in the world you're talking about (215 combo??)
:)
Oops, I just now saw your #2. But, my advise still stands...
I see you did attempt to use DDR as a metaphore, but...well...it still doesn't make sense to me. Why, for instance, is the center to be avoided in life? I always think of the center as a place of harmony and groundedness <is that a word??
Anyway, Better, but a little more - maybe one more paragraph somewhere in there to drive your message (assuming your message is that you keep your focus, commitment, and good humor in the face of adversity).