Q: Tell us about a talent, experience, contribution or personal quality you will bring to the University of California.
He was looking into my eyes, kindly saying, "Right now, it looks like you'll be on JV. But if you tighten up your long kicks and improve your stamina I might bump you up to Varsity."
I nodded, attempting to control of my face. *Don't grimace, smile.* I said, "Ok." As I returned to the field, the word "might" rang in my ears. *I'm a senior. I should be on Varsity.* Embarrassed, I smiled ruefully when I turned to my friends and shrugged, "I made JV," like I didn't care.
How could this be? How could I, Veronica, who had just joined the clubs Green Team and Amnesty International, despite even my closest friends' derision, feel ashamed? How could I, who just the other day opted to miss the party of the year to write this very essay, care if others thought me uncool?
Then I was passed the ball, and I my insecurities were replaced with my signature searing calf cramps and exhilaration when I made a solid pass. Panting, I remembered why I play soccer, why I stay up on current events, and why I do well in school: for the love of the game.
P.S.: I was planning to italicize the words in between the *...but should I?
Any opinions are welcome. But if you can I have a few specific concerns:
Can you tell what personal quality I'm trying to illustrate? (I'm trying to show that I'm unconcerned as to what is "cool" and that everything I do is because I genuinely enjoy it.)
Can I even "contribute" those qualities?
Are my paragraph spilts ok?
Is it clear my coach is talking to me?
Is it clear that I'm even playing soccer?
Thank you so much. Sorry I have so many questions, I'm just really stressed. :)