Miami is my hometown. I grew up in both Little Haiti and Biscayne Blvd. Those are two mini towns in Miami. I grew up being use to the sounds of gun shots, watching people argue about pointless situations, watching drug addicts, beg people for loose change and watched people build mini stores in their homes. I've also witnessed violent fights and crucial arrestments. Situations like those usually influence people to want to do either or of those things, but its influence me to want to achieve superior goals prior to that.
My grandmother's house in Little Haiti is where I have seen the worst of these terrible situations. At times I think back to myself what if I still lived there? Would I be the same person I am today? Would I be a strong, independent, smart young woman as I am? As I was growing up I watch people come to my grandmother's house to ask her for advice. My grandmother use to sell sodas, alcoholic beverages and snacks to the community. Therefore, I have watched her feed the hungry. My grandmother has always showed me that giving to the needy will always get you more wealth. My grandmother's house was like the go to home whenever someone was having a horrible day. She had chairs outside and everyone would go there to hang out in the afternoons.
However, here is one of the main situations that gave me a view of the real world. There was this homeless person name Blue. He had an optimum amount of love for me. He use to compile soda cans to exchange them for money. I use to love him. He steadily picked me up and spin me around, sensing as if I'm a pilot of an airplane. As eccentric as that sounds, he was my best friend. Blue was oh so sweet and loving. There was this one day that Blue came to see me. I showed him my star student award and he told me he was proud of me. He spint me around and we scoffed each other yelling WEEEE! He then put me down and I got on my knees and tied his shoelace. After I tied his shoe, he had to go and I said goodbye. As he was crossing the next road over there was a police chase and Blue got hit and died on the spot. I was at that age where I understood that he died but didn't understand what exactly was going on. That situation makes me think to myself that I am grateful for what I have and that I am a good person that many people love.
In my lifetime, I have witnessed some sad situations living in Little Haiti and Biscayne, but it only made me a better person. Those situations also taught me to appreciate everything and everyone that I have in my life. So where I grew up made me the strong, independent and smart young lady I am today.
Chelcie,
Made a quick title change to your post, just helps it stand out from the crowd a bit.
I would also like to make a suggestion with your opening statement...
Miami is my hometown. I grew up in both Little Haiti and Biscayne Blvd. Those are two mini towns in Miami. I grew up being use to the sounds of gun shots, watching people argue about pointless situations, watching drug addicts, beg people for loose change and watched people build mini stores in their homes. I've also witnessed violent fights and crucial arrestments. Situations like those usually influence people to want to do either or of those things, but its influence me to want to achieve superior goals prior to that.
Often times with opening statements, omitting things can actually make your content stronger and more interesting. by opening with I grew up to the sound of gunshots it makes it instantly engaging and pulls the reader in.
Overall the rest of it seems fine. I really liked reading your story. Despite all you describe going through It was nice to see that you were still able to be positive about it in the end.
Hi :) I have some suggestions for your essay..
I grew up being useaccustomed to the sounds of gun shots, watching people arguingabout pointless situations , watching drug addicts b eg people for loose change, and watchedsaw people build mini stores in their homes. I've also witnessed violent fights and crucial arrests .
Situations like those usually influence people to want to do either or of those things, but its influence me to want to achieve superior goals prior to that.
Maybe you could say: "After accepting these situations as part of every day life, some people would give in to that type of lifestyle. However, I have been inspired to rise above the negativity, so I can achieve my goals."
At times I think back to myself what if I still lived there? Would I be the same person I am today? Would I be a strong, independent, smart young woman as I am?
If you need to shorten your essay or remove anything- this would be the part to omit- I think that you get a bit off track with these statements. I think you are using the word "situation" too much. It is a little "wordy" so if you could try to write in a way that is more clear and concise that would help your paper look more "neat" Try to focus more on the lesson that you learned and how you developed into a thoughtful person- make this point a solid one.
