The essay demonstrates your ability to write clearly and concisely on a selected topic and helps you distinguish yourself in your own voice. What do you want the readers of your application to know about you apart from courses, grades, and test scores? Choose the option that best helps you answer that question and write an essay of no more than 650 words, using the prompt to inspire and structure your response. Remember: 650 words is your limit, not your goal. Use the full range if you need it, but don't feel obligated to do so. (The application won't accept a response shorter than 250 words.)
Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what lessons did you learn?
Please write an essay (250-650 words) on the topic selected. You can type directly into the box, or you can paste text from another source.
"Grind the leaves and then filter them into pigment extracting solution; draw a solution line on a filter paper strip with capillary for five times; cut the end of the strip into a V-shape; put the "V" in chromatographic liquid and make sure that the liquid does not exceed the line." I carefully followed every step on the reference material to extract and separate chlorophyll. Finally here came the long period of waiting for the ultimate result. Several minutes later, however, on the filter paper there was only a mess but not "the four layers of pigments" as I had expected. I was so disappointed that I wanted to give up, yet I recollected something that reminded me of patience.
It was in a biology course that Victoria and I were doing the Reducing Sugar Detection experiment in Grade 11, which I had once conducted in grade 10 before I transferred to the present secondary school. Firstly, grind the apple into liquid; next, make up Fehling's solution with 0.1g/ml caustic soda solution and 0.05g/ml copper sulfate solution; then, mix the apple juice and the Fehling's solution together; finally, get the compound heated in a water bath. We took every step carefully and everything went well until the precipitation turned out to be dark orange instead of the dark brick we expected.
This experiment is the same as I did before: the same use of raw material, the same solution preparation, the same method of operation, and most importantly, the same ultimate result. At that time my chemical teacher told me that I had heated the reducing sugar for too long to keep it integrated; this time I failed again to detect the phenomenon and I told Victoria about my previous experience and asserted our failure, while she ignored my word and persisted in heating the compound. I was so annoyed by her indifference to my advice that I decided to sit aside and waited for her "good news".
Ironically, after a couple of minutes, I did actually receive the "good news" that the dark brick precipitation appeared in the tube. At the moment I saw the expected result, what filled my mind was not the sense of achievement, but feelings of shame for my narrowness and regret for my conceit.
"It's like a miracle, you know, a year ago, when I did the same experiment." While I was trying to gloss over my mistake, Victoria just interrupted, "It is NOT a miracle but a payment for patience." Suddenly, I was rendered speechless because I realized how unpersuasive my explanation was. Teacher told me about overheating last time because I had heated the object for too long, while this time, under a different condition, I attributed similar phenomenon to the same reason and proclaimed our failure without analysis. It was impatience that caused my arrogance and my narrow experience. I forgot that the most necessary factor of a successful experiment is patience. The success was achieved by Victoria and only belonged to her, whereas I got a complete failure but, consolably, also an important lesson about patience.
"Difficulties mastered are opportunities won ". The experiment reminded me of patience when I was nearly driven crazy by the mess on the filter paper. Yet a person cannot be defeated for the same reason twice. I decided to quietly wait for the change of phenomenon, for my success. I was really happy, finally finding the mess disappearing and the pigments getting layers. I could never be surer of the payment for patience than that moment because it actually brought me success after all.
Please let me know if you find some grammatical mistakes or wierd points. I wish natives could understand my point.
"Difficulties mastered are opportunities won ". The experiment reminded me of patience when I was nearly driven crazy by the mess on the filter paper. Yet a person cannot be defeated for the same reason twice. I decided to quietly wait for the change of phenomenon, for my success. I was really happy ,because I finally findingfound the mess disappearingdisappeared and the pigments getting layerslayered . I could never be surer of the payment for patience than that moment because it actually brought me success after all.I don't understand the last sentence
Hi! Red are corrections and green are comments.
Here are my suggestions:
1. Stick with everyday English words. I see many inappropriate words in your essay.
2. Rewrite some sentences. They are confusing.
3. Pay attention to your grammar.
4. Write in depth -- is this experience unique? How does it make you stand out?
5. Pay attention to the word "recount" in the prompt. It means to briefly describe your failure. This essay should be focusing on how the failure has impacted you and what have you learned from it.
I'm willing to see your next draft.
I understand you want to talk about the importance of patience -- this is what you have learned from failure
Instead of using one word to describe, you may want describe the reason of your impatience. Probably you are too frickle? Probably since you have experienced failure before and automatically assume the result without fully understanding the circumstance?
I think the first two paragraph about the experiment is long-winded. Maybe you should talk more about what you have learnt through this failure and how will you take this as a lesson. The experiment procedure looks as if you can pluck it out from the web. It doesn't really show your personality.
By the way, thank you for your comment on my essay. I will work on it :)
