The Common Application Transfer Essay asks you to address 'your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.' Please either tailor this essay specifically to Grinnell, or else include an addendum that answers the following questions:
*Describes your academic and other involvements to date and explain how Grinnell would serve you better than your current school, or is the next logical step in your education.
I have always lived by the famous saying, "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning how to dance in the rain." I try to find more positive ways to look at negative situations to fill my life with more optimism and joy. Whether feeling insulted by the abundance of homophobia or uninspired by the lack of academic passion around me, I have turned to this quote on multiple occasions in the last couple of months.
Time after time, I end up feeling disconnected from my college community. In the beginning, I just told myself, "Dance in the rain Randy. Find your niche." I joined Hillel and the Jewish Fraternity, Alpha Epsilon Pi. Although these clubs gave me opportunities to meet people I could relate to, Hillel dinners are only twice a month, and Greek life revolves mostly around partying, casual sex, and beer drinking. Dancing in the rain became harder than I hoped and I was done getting wet in a storm that would never pass. It is time I feel inspired by my college environment and surrounded by peers as passionate about life as I am. When I found Grinnell, with its small classes, passionate professors, and liberal environment, I questioned whether dancing in Cal Poly's storm was enough to find happiness.
Grinnell's personal aspects illustrate sunlight. Its eclectic group of students with economic, religious, racial, and all around personality diversity encourages originality. I will feel comfortable and eager to show off the quirky, philosophical, and nerdy person I am without hiding behind insecurity and attempts to be "normal."
Grinnell's renowned professors teach the lectures, grade the papers and tests, and even invite students over for dinner, making a warm, encouraging environment in which I will feel comfortable asking questions. Professors who make themselves available to me, and who share my immutable passion for learning, not only make an intimate academic environment, but also greatly motivate me and give me someone to look up to. The core curriculum is minimal because Grinnell wants to challenge its students to steer in their own academic direction. I will have the freedom to create a major with the concentrations suited to my passions and goals.
Grinnell's wide array of intriguing classes will challenge my way of thinking, expand my mind, and feed my obsession to learn. In addition, Grinnell's variety of study abroad opportunities would allow me to pursue my fascination with other cultures by studying and traveling to parts of the world I have never been.
Now, as Cal Poly's storm continues, I rethink my options. Grinnell's unique and diverse academic and social environment opens a third path to choose from. The choices are not always as simple as watching it rain or dancing; sometimes when trapped in a storm that will never pass, escaping it to find sunlight is the only way to be happy. Grinnell's "weather" is one in which I will thrive, for it is the place my sun will shine.
uninspired by the lack of academic passion around me --- this part is awkward. Feeling uninspired by a lack is awkward. How about, "[feeling] discouraged by the absence of academic passion among my peers."
It seems like one more sentence is necessary in that first para. Add a sentence that expresses some kind of theme that will apply to the whole essay. I see that the dancing in the rain thing is good, but that paragraph needs one more sentence to really define your theme.
Dancing in the rain became harder than I had hoped it would be, and I was done getting wet in a storm that would never pass.
Grinnell's personal aspects illustrate sunlight. --- this makes no sense!
I will feel comfortable and eager to show off the quirky, philosophical, and nerdy person I am without hiding behind insecurity and attempts to be "normal."--- this is an excellent sentence!!
well no, most of them have TA's or grad students do it.
then maybe you should write that they personally read the assignments and grade the tests, etc. Use the word "personally."
...diverse academic and social environment represents a third path -- an additional option for me.
I like your ending. I don't think the word weather needs to be in " " marks.
