I am a product of diverse experiences
Our families and communities often define us and our individual worlds. Community might refer to your cultural group, extended family, religious group, neighborhood or school, sports team or club, co-workers, etc. Describe the world you come from and how you, as a product of it, might add to the diversity of the University of Washington. 300 words max
Born to a Japanese mother and American father in Kyoto, and having lived in both Japan and the States since an early age, I'm the product of different and, in many ways, almost opposite worlds. After my parents divorced when I was just six, the separation between these worlds became defined not just by two different cultures, but by two very different families. During my childhood, I spent a big amount of time traveling from my mom's house in Washington, to my dad's in marysville, to my grandparents in Florida and Japan. I've lived with three different families with my dad growing up. Not only living with so many families, living with my two very different grandparents gave different varieties in experiences and lifestyles. I had such a different environment: in Florida everything was open and spread out, in Kyoto Japan, everything was tightly packed and organized. My father's family are hard working middle class people that live in the country-side of Florida. My father's side of the family have never gone to college, let alone, some not finished high school. On the other hand, my mom's side of the family are very conventional Japanese; they value education and harmony in the social structure. I've lived on the completely opposite corner of the country and other side of the world. It was quite a difference in living situations from my grandparents in Florida to my grandparents in Japan. From playing with gecko's in dry open fields of the backyard of my grandparents farm in Florida, to looking at Calpis Soda and McDonald's billboards on bright buildings in the bustling streets of Tokyo, these were all a part of my life. For these reasons, I feel like I would add to the already vast diversity of UW. I am not diverse, rather, I am a product of diverse experiences. I plan on bringing my openness and knowledge of culture to the new people I would meet and offer insight on the beautifulness and variety of opportunities in this world.
I just cant figure out how to make vivid details of my experiences that wont make my essay too long or is too irrelevant, Also, if anyone could help with the wording and grammar, that would be great.
This is more than 300 words, but it'll get chiseled down with more editing. If you have any suggestions, it would be greatly appreciated.Good essay, but a numerous amount of grammar mistakes. Consider the following:
- Remove the contractions to better formalize the essay
- " to my dad's inmMarysville,"
- "My father's family are is filled with hard working ..." I changed "are" to "is" because the noun preceding is singular.
- "From playing with gecko'ss in dry"
- "I am not diverse,. rather, I am"
- Change beautifulness to beauty
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4782 Maya, rather than focusing in describing the family set up as you do in this essay, you should be focusing on what you learned from each of the 3 families. That way, you can accurately describe what makes you unique and attention may also be immediately called to how diversified your outlook in life is because of this upbringing. Your essay is spending too much time using vivid descriptions when you should be giving vivid explanations instead. What kind of person were you when you you were with each side of the family? How did you manage to combine all of these influences into the person that you are today? How would you describe yourself because of it? Try to think about who you are today based upon all these influences. You don't have to describe the world vividly. Instead, you should be describing how this world shaped you by explaining the influence of each world of your personality. When you do that, then you will have proven that you can truly add to the diversity at the UW campus.
Maya, I adore this essay! Especially considering it's so close to my heart (Indian born and raised in Japan). However, I would suggest focusing less on the environment you grew up in, and more on how it impacted you instead. Then tie this into how these traits of yours would benefit the University of Washington.
Best of luck with the application process! <3
