This is for the University of Washington;
Prompt: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?
Growing up- everyone does it. When you are a baby, you grow up to be a toddler, from a toddler to a child, a child to a teenager, and from a teenager to an adult. As we get older, we sometimes don't remember much about our childhood because, let's face it, it was a long time ago or not a pleasant time to remember. I don't know if that is the case for everyone, but for me, my childhood wasn't the best of times; but it certainly wasn't the worst either.
At Hainerberg Elementary School, back in 2001, students were gathering inside classrooms anxious to get ready to start the school day. If you go into the first grade hallway and look inside the second door to your right, you would see first graders gathering around in a circle introducing them, and just in time you are able to see one first grader introduce them.
A small Asian girl with pigtails steps forward in front of the class. She begins to mumble and the students begin to bicker about how they cannot hear her.
The teacher says to the girl, "Anna, please speak up."
Anna takes a deep breath and looks out towards her classmates and begins, "My name is Anna Yu and my birthday is in Janu-"and before she can continue her classmates says, "EUW! What is on your arms!" pointing to the red, bumps, and bruises that cover the girl's arm. Not knowing what to make of this comment, Anna sits down embarrassed while looking down at her arms and thinking, "Euw? What is wrong with me?" She does not know it but for the rest of her time in Elementary School, she will be constantly taunted for that, "Euw."
I was born with a skin disorder, dermatitis, to be exact. Dermatitis is an inflammation of the skin where the skin usually appears swollen, red, and itchy. My skin disorder is not life-threatening or contagious, but as a child growing up with dermatitis, my classmates wouldn't come close to me because they thought I was contagious. They believed that the little Asian girl with the scars, bumps, and ugly bruises on her arm was, essentially, a freak.
I did not have a lot of friends growing up because people were scared to touch me or be around me because they thought they would get those ugly marks on their skins too. I learned to adjust by wearing long sleeves all the time, even during the summer. As time dragged on, the others eventually stopped teasing me about my skin, but I was insecure to show my skin to others because I was afraid that the teasing would start all over again. Fortunately, because of the kindness of one person, it didn't.
In the fifth grade, I created a bubble around me to secure myself safely away from others because I didn't want to be teased again, but in the middle of fifth grade the bubble slowly started to disappear.
I met Chelsea Hattle, my best friend, on the soccer field, halfway through my fifth grade year and from then on, I wasn't a shy, insecure girl anymore; I was starting to show a different side to myself, my true self. I partly owe this to Chelsea. She did not care that I had a skin disorder and that I was different from her; she saw past my skin and saw me. From middle school on, I no longer hid my skin away from anyone. I saw beyond my insecurities and finally realized it's not the appearance of the skin that matters, but the personality and character of the person who wears it does.
Now, as a seventeen year-old high school senior, I embrace my skin disorder. Many have asked me why I have scars and bumps on my arm, and I respond by saying, "I have a skin disorder." No one cares that I have a skin disorder or that my skin is different from theirs; they see me as the girl who is the cheerleader, volleyball player, senior class rep, and homecoming nominee. They see me as Anna Marie Yu, not freak. I am proud to be who I am, flaws included.
A few things:
my childhood wasn't the best of times; but it certainly wasn't the worst either.
You may want to say this differently, maybe re-word the sentence.
At Hainerberg Elementary School, back in 2001, students were gathering inside classrooms anxious to get ready to start the school day.
At Hainerberg Elementary School, back in 2001, students were gathering inside classrooms anxious to start the school day.
I do like how you begin in present tense, transition to past tense in a very descriptive way, then switch back to present tense. You have a nice style of writing!
I met Chelsea Hattle, my best friend, on the soccer field, halfway through my fifth grade year and from then on, I wasn't a shy, insecure girl anymore; I was starting to show a different side to myself, my true self.
You mean to say "different side of myself" and this sentence is a little long, maybe make 2 sentences out of this one.
Nice work! You have a great topic, your paper is interesting and easy to read. Good luck in school!
