All criticisms welcomed (: please help me on my grammar and the context of my essay. thank you so much!
PROMPT ONE: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Growing up was never an easy task, especially with a single mother since day one. I know that my mother had placed all her efforts into juggling the roles of being a mother and a father; however, that was never enough-never enough to fill in the guidance and life lessons I have missed out on from a father's perspective, never enough to fill the fatherless void I have in my life.
Yet, living the past 17 years of my life without guidance from one of my parents has led me to one of the crucial decisions in my life. That is, to become a teacher. I have never really placed much thought into becoming a teacher; rather, growing up without a father figure happened to lead me down this path. When I hear stories and know those who are without one or even both parents, encourages me to reach out to them, to hold their hand. I can honestly relate to them on every level, because I have, and up until this day, was never able to receive the love and guidance from my father. I understand that I am capable, with every part of my being, of multitasking as mother, a father, and even a friend; however, the only way I can utilize all that I am capable of doing is to become a teacher. Through a teacher, I not only see a human being that enriches a child's mind, but furthermore, a mother that embraces her child, a father that holds his child's hand, and a friend that supports unconditionally.
Truthfully, the pain of growing up without having my father by my side still haunts me till this day. However, instead of locking it away into the past, I have brought it along with me to the present and will continue to do so for the future. Although I certainly have a shortfall when it comes to the amount of guidance and life lessons I can ever get out of life, what genuinely matters is my desire to give back to the world ten times more than I will ever be able to receive in a lifetime. When it comes down to it all, I thank my father for taking me this far in life-without being by my side for even a single day, yet amazingly still capable of motivating me to place out my hand, giving the world every chance to hold it.
I'm not very good in English but I think it's very good! Great descritive and emotional. I agree with Carolinetu, talk more about developing, more details for your aspiration..
i think your essay is very strong and great voice.
one sugesstion
When it comes down to it all, I thank my father for taking me this far in life-without being by my side for even a single day, yet amazingly still capable of motivating me to place out my hand, giving the world every chance to hold it.
maybe change the wording to make it sound a bit more formal
again great essay
