"What kind of music do you prefer?" asked the taxi cab driver while I sat there nervously and clueless about what to respond. In retrospect, this seems like a basic question. Back then, all I could think of was Bollywood music because that's the only music I had been listening to throughout my life. It was discomforting to know the challenges I was going to encounter in a new culture.
Ever since I moved to America, I have continued to learn more and more about myself. Moving to a different country and living in eight states in just seven years has not only taught me about different cultures and lifestyles, but has also helped me to grow as an individual and to gain self confidence. Throughout my journey, I have discovered the differences between Indian and American culture, the realization of these differences and their subsequent effects have truly molded my personality.
While growing up in India, I was raised according to traditional Indian values and culture. I even learned two languages, Marathi and Gujarati, just by watching my friends speak along. Supplementing that was my participation in various dance competitions through Bollywood as well as traditional dances, such as Bharatnatyam. Furthermore, living in a family with relatives who are primarily employed in software engineering, I had set goals similar to those of my family, without pondering my own individual aspirations. India tends to be a highly biased society: most children are expected to follow in their parents' footsteps and I was one of them until my migration to America.
On the way to my first home in America, the taxi cab driver asked me something that, while simple, made me realize the challenging experiences I was about to encounter in this new culture. He asked, "what kind of music do you prefer?" Although I was able to respond that I preferred rock music - it was the only type of music I really knew about!- it was discomforting to wonder how I would cope in a new culture where I didn't even know about simple things, like the type of music that most American teenagers listened to. After attending schools and making friends, I finally began to embrace the new culture and lifestyle only to discover that I was trying to conform to society.
While my father struggled through his job, my family and I often had to move from one state to another in less than six months. Though this helped me grow as an individual as well as made me value my culture and customs. I tried to conform to society. I tried suppressing my culture. I based my likes and dislikes on what my new friends preferred. But after my move to Virginia last summer, I realized that after losing all of the friends I made over the years and trying to be like everybody else, I had been missing out on opportunities, such as continuing my interest in dance as well as participating in sports and activities, which would expand my interests. After meeting so many people of both Indian and American culture during my journey, I have learned the importance of culture and values. Most importantly, I gained self confidence from doing what I believe to be right. Migrating to this country has truly taught to appreciate my customs and values.
this is sorta reconstructed from the other one i posted on here! please read/edit
also im not really a writer and im applying to some ivy leagues..is it honestly ivy league material?
You should include the prompt next time you upload an essay.
The essay itself is well-written. Just one thing I noticed:
"because that's the only music I had been listening to throughout my life"
should be
"because that was the only music I had listened to"
I like the essay but I think the taxi driver question could be used as a way to more uniquely structure your essay; right now, the question grabs my attention, but doesn't seem to have any real significance. I just think your essay needs to be more coherent (have better transitions between ideas) and it needs to reflect your personal qualities more, rather than just the impact of moving to America.
heres the prompt!
A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.
I guess I think this should be "how" to respond:
what how to respond.
India tends to be a highly biased society: most children are expected to follow in their parents' footsteps, and I was one of them until my migration to America.----Very good sentence, but I added a comma
On the way to my first home in America, the taxi cab driver .... about to encounter in this new culture. ---another beautifully written sentence.
He asked, "what What kind of music do you prefer?"
...during my journey, I have learned the importance of culture and values. ---After this sentence, you should say something about the importance of culture and values to show what you mean; share what you learned by summing up the meaning of the lesson in a single sentence.
That is an important ability: to be able to explain something in a single sentence.
Hello ivygirl!
It's a fluent essay, good.
Since English is my second language, my grammar's weak. I can only say something about the whole.
I've read some essays, like yours, talking about immigration and the impact. The pattern is basically the same: feeling isolated, looked down upon, something changed you, you started to feel better, you are now quite comfortable with the new environment...
They are all truths from the beginning till the end, I understand. And they are what you want to tell, I also understand.
Here's a small suggestion, merely suggestion.
The scope of new life is just to large. Take a specific aspects of your life, like your favorite music, or accent, food, sports and changes about them. Add more details also. It will be more interesting!
I'll appreciate if you can critique on my wellesley essay.
