This is my application essay for the Semester at Sea program. I really want to get in and need some feedback on this essay...please help me and I will gladly return the favor :)
Prompt : How will your Semester at Sea voyage create (or enhance) your personal global perspective? Highlight your discussion by referencing at least one country on your itinerary and by explaining how your time there will further develop your awareness.
Growing up in a small, Southern Oregon mountain town gave me an understanding and deep appreciation of the beauty of this planet, while also inspiring my lifelong dream of experiencing the other incredible places the world has to offer. Another dream of mine is teaching, and it is vital for educators to be culturally conscious and aware. Being passionate about the state of the world, I am driven to take my teaching career beyond the local classroom and into the global arena. My future goals include teaching abroad and graduate school, but before I can begin making a difference in classrooms at home and overseas, I must learn the necessary knowledge to providing a quality education for multicultural learning communities and a broad range of learners. Semester at Sea will provide me with the once in a lifetime learning opportunity of traveling to 14 different countries around the world, enabling me to gain an informed global perspective and a better understanding of a variety of cultures.
Being surrounded by these diverse cultures and experiencing them first hand provides a much more meaningful and accurate viewpoint than that gained by learning through a textbook or lecture. By making connections with people from all around the world and immersing myself in their cultures, I expect to open my eyes to new perspectives that will give me a better sense of the world and make me more open-minded in and out of the classroom. The unique way Semester at Sea combines classroom learning with cultural exploration provides an unparalleled opportunity for authentic, hands-on learning, as I will be able to see first-hand the cultures and issues I learn about in the classroom. I can live the cultures I am learning about, and by living and learning simultaneously, I will be able to apply my experiences into becoming an informed and effective teacher. This will further enhance my global awareness and challenge me to think in new and exciting ways as a student, teacher, and global citizen.
Poverty is a serious issue that concerns me as a future educator, and understanding it is crucial in connecting with students from low-income families. Seeing the extreme poverty that permeates rural Ghana will give me insight into the alarming situation facing many people on a daily basis. South Africa provides another opportunity to learn more about this issue and develop my global awareness, as I could explore the effects of apartheid and its implications for poverty. By going into the world, seeking out and discovering what I want to learn instead of having the information come to me in a secondary way, I will be able to see the world through a new global lens. This exciting new perspective will allow me to do what I love better and more profoundly - it will allow me to teach, learn from, connect with, and impact young people all over the world.
Right now, I am a student seeking to learn, and taking my learning beyond the two-dimensional world of the classroom allows me the invaluable chance to gain an authentic global perspective of vibrant, different cultures around the world, making me more culturally and globally conscious. My two lifelong dreams are a) traveling and learning from the world, and b) becoming an informed global citizen with the ability to teach effectively and connect with multicultural learning communities. By combining living and learning in a variety of cultures worldwide, Semester at Sea is the perfect opportunity for me to realize both of these dreams.
Hi, you have done a wonderful job writing this essay. I can't find any errors in your grammar. You state why you are interested in the program, what your roots are, what your passions are, and your personality shows you to be a very intellectual person. You are clear about your short term and long term goals (the college wants to know that you are a "person with a plan") and you explain how the program will help you to attain those goals. One thing I would change: a few sentences are too long, and should be simplified, or split into shorter sentences.
1) Growing up in a small, Southern Oregon mountain town gave me an understanding and deep appreciation of the beauty of this planet, while also inspiring my lifelong dream of experiencing the other incredible places the world has to offer.
2) The unique way Semester at Sea combines classroom learning with cultural exploration provides an unparalleled opportunity for authentic, hands-on learning, as I will be able to see first-hand the cultures and issues I learn about in the classroom.
Good luck in school!!
