I'm currently at 652 words, and the word limit is 500. If anyone could help me out and suggest what I should cut down, please get back to me. all suggestions and critiques are appreciated. thank you!
NYU:
1. Given your NYU campuses of interest - whether they are your primary and alternate home campuses of interest or where you would like to study away while you are a student - where, exactly, would you like to study at NYU - and why?
2. Whether you are undecided or you have a definitive plan of study in mind, what are your academic interests and how do you plan to explore them at NYU? (word limit: 500)
It is four in the afternoon when I hear the tinkling of the ice cream truck floating across my small town neighborhood. I am once again reminded of my childhood pastimes running outside with my neighbors. My small town life has always been quaint, quiet, and safe -- a home that I love but am ready to leave. My friends, family, and teachers provided me with everything I could need, and my gratitude manifested itself in another quality: ambition. I dream of exploring the world outside my small town, to see and experience new things, and chase opportunities residing behind the glittering lights and skyscrapers of New York City. With the city as my backyard, NYU offers endless opportunities that cannot be found anywhere else. My slow paced life is ready for some excitement.
Growing up with strict immigrant parents, I've had a very sheltered childhood. By being in New York, I would have a chance to find independence. Coming from a typical suburban life, the traditional college campus and experience,with a college football team or a quad is part of a generic template. I want to be in an environment that immerses the culture of the city while I explore my academic interests. With NYU's distinct campus spread among Greenwich Village, I will be in the heart of Manhattan, where the city can offer me endless opportunities.
After being in a traditional classroom setting for years, I have found that my interests peaked when I was outside, applying my knowledge to real life situations. When truly immersing with the real world and its problems, I will come across the collective eclectic mind of New York, where I will need to understand how to approach these situations. In the world of applied psychology, learning comes from hands-on experience, which can be taught outside the classroom.
NYU's nationally ranked Steinhardt School of Education, Culture, and Human Development's Applied Psychology Department offers extensive programs and tools to its students. By using its notable fieldwork sequence, I would be able to focus on my major while exploring its subfields. I would take full advantage of this program by applying the information I have used in the classroom and conducting my own research, immersing myself directly in NYU's environment and will be able to explore professional interests after graduation. While exploring my academic interests, I would not want to shy away from communicating with the diversity of the student body. APUG (Applied Psychology Undergraduate Club), a club that helps students learn about psychology with hands on experience by holding numerous events that connects student and social life, I will be able to be able to combine student, social, and academic life.
My passion dives directly into social psychology, and I would love to learn more about how behavior and social interactions affect one another. The Department of Applied Psychology expands in different branches, and conducts work in many different areas of interest. With its notable faculty, NYU has professors doing research that would help me pursue my interests. This includes distinct research on cross-cultural studies and individuals' relationships which explains behavior and how it impacts our own. Research has also been conducted on how external forces, such as poverty and violence can limit or expand children and families growth. Parent-infant interactions also appeal tome, and research is currently being conducted on how early relationships can shape children's readiness for school. Although NYU has only one department of Applied Psychology, it contains many directions that I could can explore.
With a non-traditional college experience, along with notable instances that will let me explore my interests in psychology, NYU is a unique school full of different experiences that caters to my interests and passions to let me reach my full potential. No longer do I want to be stuck in the suburbs, I am ready to immerse myself into NYU and whatever adventures it entails for me.
Try to take out sentences or phrases that aren't completely necessary to your prompt. Ask yourself if you're questioning whether or not to keep a set of words: what is the point of this sentence? why do I need this here? If it's to help convey imagery then great! but you can try to explain it in a much simpler set of words.
I tried to cut some out to as a sample, you don't need to actually take it out, it's just my opinion.
It is four in the afternoon when I hear the tinkling of the ice cream truck floating across my small town neighborhood. I am once again reminded of my childhood pastimes running outside with my neighbors. My small town (you mentioned "small town" in the first sentence so the reader knows it already) life has always been quaint, quiet, and safe (if you can, try to cut out one of these adjs) -- a home that I love but am ready to leave. My friends, family, and teachers provided me with everything I could need, and my gratitude manifested itself in another quality: ambition. I dream of exploring the world outside my small town, to see andexperiencing new things, and chasing (you need to keep the parallel structure) opportunities residing behind the glittering lights and skyscrapers of New York City. With the city as my backyard, NYU offers endless opportunities that cannot be found anywhere else. My slow paced life is ready for some excitement.
I just revised your first paragraph from 134 words to 104, not all of it has to be taken out but this was just as an example. If you cut out more like this throughout your essay, you will get to you word limit. Sacrificing words you really want to keep is necessary sometimes. Hope I helped a little:)
