With a diverse educational community comes different people, different cultures, different languages, different ethnicities, etc.
This is a very obvious statement. You should go beyond the obvious and make your own unique points about diversity. As I continue to read, I see that you did this successfully later on in the essay.
Sure, we follow some of the paths
our parents have laid out of us,
but eventually we find ourselves
as being a
becoming new versions
of our parents because of what we've learned about ourselves from others.
I think the essay does make some unique observations about diversity... thanks for posting this!!