Hello all! I'm rather new here and I just finished writing this essay. I was wondering if any of you could help me correct it/fine tune it before it is submit. Thank you!
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you. (500 words)
I have never seen a smile as sincere as that on the worn man's face who lay on his
hospital bed, who only hours before was hanging over the edge of life's abyss. "Thank you", he said repeatedly, "Thank you all, for giving me back my life!" There we stood, the men and women of the Coney Island Beach Ocean Rescue, humbly accepting his graces. After all my training and practice, my job had given me a sense of purpose and fulfillment. The opportunity to give back to the world is a cherished one.
I will never forget that hot and sweltering weekend in mid July. Making my usual
rounds on position from one end of my sector to another, I heard a penetrating shriek whistle signal that indicated an emergency. With adrenaline pumping, I sprinted toward my chair and heard in the distance a second shriek indicating the urgent need for back-stabilizing equipment! Without a moment's thought as to who, what, when or where, I snatched the back-board and dashed towards the victim.
I was stunned by the gruesome scene that unfolded before me as I arrived. Two of my fellow lifeguards were supporting the neck of an elderly man who lay completely naked on the sand, foaming and bleeding at the mouth. My composure was rattled. I had never seen anything so horrid sprawled across the sands of my home beach. At the urging of my coworkers I woke up to my purpose. The counts of CPR chest compressions echoed in my head as the reality of the situation set in. "One one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thousand..." This man could have been dead, but we had to continue. "Four one-thousand, five one-thousand, six one-thousand..." We gather up our equipment and in unison lift the victim onto a stretcher. We ran hastily ï but cautiously ï with our charge across the scorching sand and into the shade of the awaiting ambulance. We gave him up to the capable hands of the Emergency Medical Technicians and to Fate.
As I walked back to my position, I was filled with doubt, regret, and shaken memories about what seemed a distant struggle to find a pulse and breath. If only I had that extra second to think, run, or carry, that man might have lived. If only we could have done something more for our nameless victim. However, when I visited the critical care unit of the hospital, I was elated to find our victim recovering from what seemed to have been a severe stroke. Had we not paid attention, had we not worked together, had we not done our job with the utmost professionalism, this man would have died. I am proud to be part of a lifeguard team that is devoted to saving lives.
Excellent essay. Very organized, good flow, very descriptive. You stay on topic and answer the prompt very well. You could add a section to the end discussing how this event has impacted you in the long-run; other than that, I think you've got a great piece.
