For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.
Vires, Artes, Mores, which of these Latin words are reflected in my life? My life consists of many different strengths that have foiled me into the person I am today. Football has been a crucial aspect of my life that has aided in forming my strengths and character that consist in me on this present day. Growing up as a young one, I remember lofting in the living room with father watching the Seminoles battle on the gridiron that I love to play on today. This fond memory has remained with me in hopes to playing for Florida State one day in Doak Campbell Stadium. Playing at Treasure Coast High School next to my teammates Jeff Luc, Lemarcus Brutus, and Keelin Smith, that are currently FSU commits, made me proud that they will experience the dream of being a Seminole battling it out for this amazing school.
Vires, the word representing strengths in many forms such as physical, emotional, and intellectual, is a huge reflection on my life. Playing football has given me these traits because of the vigorous amount of effort needed to play the demanding sport. I can not recall all the long hours in the hot sun running sprints until my body was ready to give out. In practice, I was taught how to keep pushing myself on a physical and emotional level to my max limit to keep getting better in hopes of playing on the next level. The experiences built up these traits that I could use on the field, and in my academics that are so important to me. Playing on the team required every player to be a "student-athlete", where being a student came first. My coaches gave me intellectual strengths by constantly pushing me to get better grades. Having a demanding schedule in school, I was able to maintain a good GPA because of my driving intellect.
The word Mores applies to my personal character. My driving crave for success has formed my personal character. While being a "student-athlete", my grades are the most important thing to me. Whenever I would get a lower than expected grade on a test I would criticize my self that I have to try harder to make up the poor test grade. I have always had a fear of failing a class because I never want to bring home a report card that did not satisfy my parents, or my self. I am currently pursuing my dream of becoming a physical therapist, and I will not stop trying until I achieve my goal. I am positive that in the near future I will become a physical therapist because of my drive to not fail at achieving my dreams. My character has given me the motivation that I can be anything I want no matter how vigorous the task. If accepted to my dream school FSU, I guarantee to not let down this marvelous institution in hopes of making a difference in the future. Go Noles!
Look chap, you are supposed to describe how these words play into your life. Rather, it sounds like you are snatching them up with wild fervor to win a scavenger hunt. Change your approach.
Vires, Artes, Mores, which of these Latin words are reflected in my life? My life consists of many different strengths that have foiled me into the person I am today.
Getting rid of these first two sentences might be a good idea.
I agree with
Mustafa1991 that your essay sounds like... yea... He described it quite vividly and I'm guessing he meant it sounds quite disjointed. It's maybe because you are trying too hard to sorta fit those words in to your life.
Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.
According to the prompt you cant talk about "one or more" of the values of the concepts. Rather than trying to incorporate every single aspects of them into your essay, try to focus on just a couple of them that really define who you are.
Lastly, I think you need to revise your essay with your English teacher because... frankly speaking, I could spot quite a few grammatical errors.
Hope this helps.
"I guarantee to not let down this marvelous institution"
You should write I guarantee that I will not let...
I think "guarantee not" does not work.
...aided
me in forming my strengths and character that
consist co
mprise my personalit y today
me on this present day.Use dashes to manage complex sentences:Vires, the word representing strengths in many forms -- such as physical, emotional, and intellectual -- is a huge...
