GWU Supplement Prompt 1 - how would you change the course of history?

This is the prompt:
At the George Washington University, our students frequently interact with policymakers and world leaders. These experiences and those of our alumni can shape the future of global affairs. If you had the power to change the course of history in your community or the world, what would you do and why? (250 words)

a phoenix reborn from its ashes

Despite the struggles that came with the division of Azerbaijan by Qajar Iran and Czarist Russia, the Azerbaijanis established their own autonomous state, the Azerbaijan Democratic Republic, on may 28, 1918.

It was a remarkable phenomenon, comparable to that of a phoenix reborn from its ashes. The nation was prospering - ADR opened its first modern university and was one of the first countries to allow suffrage to women. Unfortunately, this period of progress did not last long. The Red Army invasion dispersed the idea of a democratic Azerbaijan and instead emerged the Azerbaijan Soviet Socialist Republic, which significantly pushed back Azeri progress.

One of the main reasons for the failure to protect our land was the fact that most of our army - which was also made up from remnants of the Caucasus Islam Army of the Ottoman State - was in Karabakh, and only a small portion of the army was on guard. Thus, my first step would be to warn the government of the upcoming invasion, having the knowledge that I do today. In addition, I would urge the government to fund rigorous military training, to ensure that the army is ready for the invasion.

Could you please help with a conclusion, and maybe just an overall opinion about the essay? Thank you!

Lelya, since the prompt indicates that the student of GWU interact with policy makers and world leaders, the aim of changing the course of history is not to make sure the country wins the war. Rather, the aim will be to have a peaceful resolution to any potential conflict that brought about the invasion in the first place. Consider the historical reasons for the invasion of your country and then think of alternative ways that it could have been avoided either through a peace treaty, a UN resolution, an MOU between the two countries, building of trade relations, or some other aspects of peaceful co-existence that could have prevented the invasion and potential change in government from democratic to socialist. The whole essay is out of line with regards to the prompt requirements. In my opinion, you should not proceed with developing this essay because it does not use peace as a method of preventing an invasion. It is the peaceful creation and implementation of policies and agreements between nations and world leaders that can accomplish that. Not preparing for armed conflict as you suggest in the essay. That goes directly against the basis of the prompt.