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The Gym - Common App Essay: A Meaningful Environment


blulub 1 / 3 1  
Oct 5, 2013   #1
I would greatly appreciate comments on my essay for the common app. The prompt is:

Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?

Slowly, the weight forces me to descend as my body struggles to handle the load. Just as I reach the bottom of my descent, muscles fire all across my body, providing the force necessary to rebel against gravity. The battle shifts as the weight retreats to its stand while I let out an inhuman grunt fueled by euphoria and adrenaline. Now, as I lay on the ground, heaving and gasping, my lungs take in the musty smell of sweat and rust - but I love it. There is no better feeling than the contentment felt when I push myself to my limits, something the atmosphere and environment of a gym allows me to do. What started as doctor's orders for an underweight teen to gain healthy weight has now turned into my lifestyle and passion.

My first hesitant steps into the gym were great leaps for my self-confidence. At first, it was tough to subject myself to such physical torture; I felt out of place, inferior, and most of all, intimidated. Picking up the tiny dumbbells and struggling with them was a feat of courage; it took determination to overcome the humiliation and ignore the side-long glances and muted laughs of others. This sense of insecurity overwhelmed me; I felt as if I was suffocating under the pressure. Indeed, many times I considered giving up. But through my competitive nature and commitment to better myself, I persevered and eventually learned a crucial lesson in confidence. From my steady progress, I began to understand that I was not working out for others, but for myself. I began to care less about what others thought of me and instead, focused more on personal opinions. Rather than wanting to show off to others, I was motivated by the desire to outdo previous versions of myself and realize my full potential. This sentiment has also impacted me outside of the gym as I have become more extroverted and open to trying new things. No longer do I need others' approval to justify myself. Ironically, it was the failures and losses at the gym that contributed more to my confidence than any physical changes in strength and appearance.

I have always known that hard work equals success; nowhere is this adage more evident than in the gym. The gym is an unforgiving but fair setting that uncovers irresolution, but rewards hard work. Gravity and the weights stay constant; however, people can get stronger. In my time at the gym, I have seen incredible transformations from people with unbelievable resolve, including a woman who lost 146 pounds in order to set an example for her children. From these examples and my own experiences, I have gained an appreciation for diligence and perseverance that has changed my capacity to undertake new challenges. Before my encounter with weight lifting, I would often feel overwhelmed with school work. However, after I acquired this lifestyle, I no longer complained but instead embraced these challenges for I love the feeling of conquering new obstacles. In fact, lessons from the gym have inspired me to continuously challenge myself by increasing my goals when previous ones are met. For example, after grinding through all the AP classes my school offered, I was left wanting more, so I started online courses and examining dual enrollment options. Also, I have restarted practicing the guitar after quitting five years ago because it was "too hard." Regardless of whether I succeed or fail in my goals, I now live without regret because I endeavor with the knowledge that I give everything my best effort.

Many people view the gym as a torturous place where mundane obligations to health are fulfilled, but they're missing so much. I do not go to the gym to get a six-pack or bulging muscles, I go because the gym allows me to push myself and feel the satisfaction of knowing that I am one step closer to my full potential.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Oct 6, 2013   #2
Many people view the gym as a torturous place where mundane obligations to health are fulfilled

... I like if you replace the word "Many" with "Some" to be on safe side. :)
I enjoyed reading your response to this prompt. I especially like the way you have presented it. That's very creative :)
Good job! You have answered the prompt well.
Wish you good luck with your application!
OP blulub 1 / 3 1  
Oct 6, 2013   #3
Thanks for your suggestion!
Anumeha 7 / 13 2  
Oct 8, 2013   #4
I absolutely love it! Wonderful job; No cliches, and well written.
And honestly, you don't even need that very last line! The last line of your last paragraph does a much better job of creatively finishing your overall point.. but you can definitely include the "Reaching my full potential' part of it somewhere in the end.

Awesome job again!


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