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Gymnastics + a successful elementary teacher: statement of purpose paper.

carlton_caitlin 1 / -  
Sep 28, 2010   #1
Im applying at the University of Texas in Austin and this is my statement of purpose essay. I really want to be admitted into this university so if someone could look over my essay and tell me what they think that would be great. thank you!

Walking into a preschool for the first time was intimidating. The kids intimidated me. They all sat on a colorful, round carpet for "circle time". They stared at me as if I were an alien from another planet. Although I had little experience with kids before, I've never had "teaching" experience. Gymnastics was one thing, but putting children's future education in my hands was another. "What's your name?" asked one of the kids. My new director quickly responded "This is Miss Caitlin; she will be your new teacher." The kids quickly responded back with a cheerful "hoo-ray" and a warm hug around the legs. My feeling of intimidation quickly turned to comfort and then and there I realized this was where I needed to be.

After I graduated high school, I wasn't sure what I wanted to major in. So I started out perusing my general studies at a local community college. At the beginning of my college career I believe I did fairly well. I know you're aware of the F in Introductory to Algebra. I received this letter grade due to the fact that I stopped going to class. The reason for this being is because I and other students, at the time, felt the teacher was belittling, unclear on his teachings, and unhelpful. I was falling behind in this class and I tried my hardest, but due to the teacher I was not able to achieve the grade I know I could have made. I know that not going to class was not the best decision, but the class is a remedial class so I was not able to drop it at that time. As you can see from my transcripts the next semester's I was in school I gave the following remedial classes my best effort. Because of my teacher Mrs. Hanning and her clear teachings I was able to excel in both of the classes. So, I hope you can understand and take my achievements into consideration instead of my failing.

During this time, I had just quit my job as a gymnastics coach. There, as a gymnastics coach, I realized I enjoyed working with kids. I can't say that I've always wanted to be a teacher, but when I started working at the learning center the kids quickly changed my mind. I have spent countless hours in the classroom and have been to several seminars, meetings, retreats, and have read many articles to learn more about children. I have succeeded in teaching preschoolers the alphabet, numbers, sounds, and the beginnings of writing. Through observations in many classrooms' and the help of my training, I have learned how children think, learn, and develop. Although my experiences have been through my jobs and outside training with mostly preschool children, I want to carry on my dream as an elementary teacher through a school that can teach me to be the best teacher I can be. At first, I didn't see my self attending a University, but when my family decided to move to Austin I looked into applying at the University of Texas. Not knowing what to expect, I made several appointments with Mr. Richard Mattinlgy and he guided me and assured me that the University of Texas was right for me.

Over the past 3 years, I've developed a gift and an infatuation with working with kids. I have worked very hard on my academics to be where I am now. I have put in many hours of studying, researching and doing homework to receive the A's and B's I have obtained. At the beginning of my college year, not knowing what my major was, I didn't take school serious. Now that I know my future career will to be in Early Childhood Education I believe this university is where I am suppose to be. I have worked hard and will continue to work to my hardest to be the best I can be. I hope that you give me the opportunity to move forward with my studies at The University of Texas in Austin, which will allow me to achieve my ultimate goal of becoming a successful elementary teacher. Thank you for your time.

shofa_nefertete 12 / 35  
Sep 30, 2010   #2
colorful, ro und carpet for "circle time". -----> colorful round carpet for "circle time."

students, at the ti me, felt the teacher was belittling, unclear on his teachings, and unhelpful.

r students, at that ti me, felt the teacher was belittling, unclear on his teachings, and unhelpful.

I am suppose to be.

I am supposed to be. I hav
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,334 129  
Oct 2, 2010   #3
Walking into a preschool for the first time was intimidating.

When I read this first line, it makes me wonder why you are talking about preschool in this essay. I think you will have to do a good job of expressing your meaning, your theme, if you want to discuss preschool instead of high school.

Oh, okay, I take that back. I see that you plan to get into ECE. That is good. But what this essay is missing is an intro paragraph that gets the reader familiar with the idea that you want to talk about your early experiences as an example to show why ECE is important to you. So... add an intro para to the beginning of this!

Also, you might want to cite some authorities in the field of early education, discuss some contemporary topics about instructional methods and classroom management, etc. Show that you have done your research.

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