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"Han-bok" - U of Michigan diversity essay


tnwls4588 1 / 1  
Oct 20, 2009   #1
please please comment anything from good or bad i don't care. I really need your thoughts and comments
grammer mistakes is fine, or if i have to rewrite it i will

Share an experience through which you have gained respect for intellectual, social, or cultural differences. Comment
on how your personal experiences and achievements would contribute to the diversity of the University of Michigan. (250)

The hot and humid weather swept all of us in to the classroom even before the bell rang where Mrs. Riviello was preparing for an announcement. I sat down waiting for her announcement, thinking it was the same mundane routine every day. However, what she said wasn't mundane or boring. She enthralled me with "International Day" where we get to wear our traditional costumes and get to experience other cultures.

On that day, I proudly wore Korean traditional costume "Han-bok" and headed to school. Even though I was an alien living outside my home country, I was pretty well adjusted and actually enjoyed being an alien where I was never used to. As we paraded around the school, I never realized that there were so many different flags, foods and costumes around the world. I was never afraid to experience a new culture. At last, everyone got together and held each other's hands and meditated the true meaning of "We look different but we aren't different."

I.S Manila helped me to learn different cultures and nationalities. The experiences not only enriched me with knowledge of other culture but also taught me how to be a global student by appreciating others not by their ethnicity or their culture but with their character and accommodate with each other for the better. I'm confident that I can make U of Michigan more diverse school and share my experience and at the same time learn and apprehend another inestimable opportunity.
EF_Stephen - / 264  
Oct 20, 2009   #2
It's nice. There are a few mistakes grammatically, but overall it reads well.

I'm sure that you enjoyed that experience, and I know that the word limit is short. What makes me curious is whether that feeling continued after the costumes were off. That's the real test of what you say you learned and felt.
OP tnwls4588 1 / 1  
Oct 20, 2009   #3
ok i'll try to add to it and fix it
thanks
krazzikittie 8 / 23  
Oct 21, 2009   #4
Good reflection, definitely a good example of diversity situation.

I'm korean as well! =D
hellokitty930 3 / 8  
Oct 22, 2009   #5
Yay for korean kitties. Describe your hanbok. It's such a beautiful costume, and describe texture..if you can. I think that is one thing you cannot leave out despite the word limit.
zouztingt 6 / 23  
Oct 22, 2009   #6
Good job, but I think you can make it more interesting to read.


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