I need to write an essay that shows my passion for art, how it has influenced me and why I want to pursue a career related to the arts.
Any suggestions, comments or corrections are greatly appreciated!
"Happiness"
I found it one November afternoon.
It was a cold. The smell of linseed oil and turpentine lingered in the air.
I sat there, awestruck. They were much more advanced artists than me, and much, much older. I marveled at their sketches, those few streaks of charcoal, vague ideas and thoughts that started to become a reality.
These people were my idols, the real heroes. The ones who saved the world by donating pieces of dreams and restoring the hope of those too bound to reality. And like any other kid my age who looked up to their favorite heroes, I aspired to become one of them.
The fainting sound that came from an old, beaten up radio slowly made me realize what I had just gotten myself into. I had never painted before in my life. The simple thought of splattering color on a canvas, what I thought was a risky and irreversible action, made me tremble. But there was no going back. Dad wasn't picking me up until 4 anyways. I struggled trying to remember what my teacher had instructed me to do just seconds ago. Something about not being so tense and intimidated, to just relax and let go. I took a deep breath. A variety of unusual objects were placed on a satin tablecloth, but it was a simple vase full of brightly colored flowers that caught my attention.
My brand new white canvas waited in front of me impatiently. Kind of like life when you think about it. Blank and intimidating. Full of endless possibilities, just waiting for you to splash it with color. And it was in that room, a studio hidden from the bustling city of Madrid, where I found it.
It was in those common colors with common names, that when mixed suddenly became extraordinary and unknown. It was in that feeling of power. In how easily a flow of ideas could transfer to a paintbrush, and slowly begin to exist. It was in that smell of paint, in the tapping of my feet in time to the rhythm of the music. In the joy I felt just by being there, surrounded by people who shared my passion, slowly becoming an artist myself. In all the things I learned in that studio, and how I came to apply them to life.
Years later, I would see it being discussed over family dinners, mentioned in the cover of self help books, and on the cheesy Spanish soap operas my mom loved so much. I would sometimes see people argue that it was impossible to find, that it was an illusion we were all doomed to hope to achieve. Others would state that one could find it eventually in life, that it was synonymous with success, while others would say that money could simply buy it. I realized that in reality, it has no substance, no significance, until us humans give it a unique meaning.
That afternoon, I came home with a wet canvas and a smile across my face. For me, happiness was as simple as a vase full of pink flowers, and success meant the feeling of accomplishment I felt when signing my name on that canvas. And although some may say that pursuing an education in the artistic field may not lead me to a certain and secure future, I am definitely up to take that risk.
Hi :)
I think it's really beautiful essay. I especially love the middle part.
Writing about arts might be kind of difficult, but I think it is especially in this topic where you can take whole the readers to your own world. I envy you~ :) I wish I could write like you!
if I say one thing, (it's wonderful already but), maybe you can put a vivid sentence in the very last, like " ..., I am definitely up to take that risk, because art is my/ because it means that ....". I would make the last words about "why you want to pursue an education in the artistic field, even if take a risk."
but it's really a good essay, I like it :)
btw, if you have time, please check my grammar !!
I gotta hand in that today (omg lol)
"Yuimaru spirit" Why Beloit (not whole)PLEASE check my grammar !!! deadline today X(
thanks!!
The fainting faint sound that came from an old, beaten up radio brought my awareness to the present moment, and slowly I rea lized what I had just gotten myself into. I had never...---I added some words to try to make sense of it. I don't know what the sound of a radio did to cause you to realize what you'd gotten into.
My brand new white canvas waited in front of me impatiently.----awesome personification
Kind of like life when you think about it . This sentence is incomplete and unhelpful. Blank and intimidating, it was full of endless possibilities, just waiting for you to splash it with color.
...pursuing an education in (the artistic field??? Seems like a strange term) may not lead me to...
Well, it would be good if you also had a plan to study internet marketing and perhaps got involved with a particular industry where you could profit from art. It would be great if you had a business plan. You can improve the essay by making a simple business plan with many specific goals and a timeline. Google this: how to write business plan
:-)
I like the way that first paragraph surprises the reader with a statement about finding happiness one particular day. Very clever. But how about if that sentence gave another quirky detail? Like... Instead of November, which is meaningless to the reader, you say: I found it one afternoon while I was _____ __ ____ ________.
:-)
