Please let me know how it is, and how I can improve? Is it good for acceptance?
Some say it is too cocky, but please let me know.
"If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great." This is one of the quotes I live by, making me not aim for the good, but for the great. I believe that every person is created equal we all got the same 24 hours a day, but what distinguish us, is the determination and the will power we set for ourselves.
I can proudly say that I'm a Brazilian 18 years old guy, who loves to take challenges and hates to be just like everybody else, therefore I will not write about who I am, but what I've done to become who I am today.
Living almost my entire life with just my father, I was early influenced to play soccer and be a business man. As a soccer player, I played in Brazil as well as in several states of the US, accumulating a lot of medals and playing against people from all over the world. However, my real passion is managing business and investments. At the age of 15 I sold my first online business, and at the age of 17 I created and sold a website after reaching 1,000,000 views. Although they were not huge sales, I love to build and grow investments.
In addition, I really enjoy taking risks. After my sophomore year at High School, with the ambition of finishing High School earlier, I went back to Brazil to do in 6 months what I was supposed to do in 2 years. Therefore, last year, for 6 months, I hassled to pass at the top best Private High School in the state of Sao Paulo, damaging a little my average. It was a wonderful experience for me though, to study for far more subjects than I would have studied in the US.
Today I rent a place in [my city], but hopefully not for so long. One of my goals for this year is to attend [my university] and live on campus, as result of a campus tour that made me fall in love with the school. Thus, I think [my university] is a great fit for my social and professional expectations and I hope I can add some great values for the university as well.