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"Hard work and profound interest: Major: Mechanical Engineering" - 700-Word Piece


Maynard 1 / -  
Nov 29, 2010   #1
Motives: Public Evaluation
Major: Mechanical Engineering

The ability to desire is of possession in human beings. Hitherto this desirous quality, aspirations will arise. I am currently enrolled in the a Diploma in Mechanical Engineering programme. I aspire to be a mechanical engineer. There are several reasons that culminate me to opt for my choice.

When I was a little boy, I spent a lot of time playing with toys. I would dismantle the parts of the toys and fix them back. I have a knack to make objects function. Like a punter who struck the jackpot, I find joy in thinking that parts in a system is able to make objects function. These parts work in harmony to produce a successful functioning system. I like the notion that non-living matters can be manipulated and given "life". This is the uniqueness of mechanisms working in tandem.

I long for a profound understanding of the state of objects around me. This longing harvested my deep passion for Physics. The study of mechanical engineering is the fusion between mathematics and Physics. I am of the understanding that Physics is the study of matter and the motion effectual to its form. Though I am no genius in mathematics, I perceive this field of study to be a trustworthy provider of truth and logical thinking. Mathematics is an exact science. Fuzzy logic holds a crucial role in the generation of ideas and thoughts. Imagination is the medium of creativity. I find these terms to be mind-boggling and exciting.

Another reason for my choice is to take effort to contribute for a good cause. I aim to do goodwill to mankind. I strongly uphold that the quality of the human life still needs improvement. I am confident of the existence of an ideal force. One so efficient, it is constructive, manageable and clean. This could deter energy wastage and further destructive outcome. With the engineering and skills which will attain, I hope to discover either the latter ideal entity or further enhance its usage. By doing this, I can improve the quality of human life.

I view beauty to be as an essence of God's creation. Beauty is holistic. Therefore, I want to bear witness to this quality. I view beauty to be existent in the field of engineering. My love for nature has developed me to make this choice. The true beauty of the engineering study lies with the attributes that make up itself. With the study of Physics as the fruit of God's great imagination. Alongside mathematics, as the means of precise logic behind physical events. I am only human. None have I the means of intellectual capacity to grasp wholly Our creator's eternal knowledge. These dogmas intrigue me. Hence, the spirit of inquiry in me.

Engineers are often faced with dilemmas. I am of no faint-hearted inclination. I do not give up easily on matters I attend to. I enjoy taking challenges and also experiencing difficult situations. I could hone courage. I want to undermine fears, be it known or unknown. By doing this, I will take a complex path. Though the probable products of complexity is similar to that of simplicity, I strongly believe that this path can lead me to a life of greater meaning.

Besides, I would want to carry out my duty as a child to honor both my parents. I am a devout Roman Catholic. A teaching in Christianity states that one shall honor both her or his parents. I find this teaching rightful. Human beings have their own of responsibilities. A child should acknowledge his or her parents, respect them and live a good life. Parents, upon learning that their child is living a good life, will be pleased. The child then brings honor to their parents. Honor does not consist of pride, position, ranking, prized nor earthly possessions. In fact, it is a gift, upon the exertion of effort by humankind and to be then rewarded by God.

It took me a long time to realise the purposes I had in life. In all, it is sheer determination that can lead me to attain my aspirations. With that, I believe hardwork pays off greatly. I am confident that with hardwork and profound interest, my visions will turn into reality.

End
rona 2 / 2  
Nov 29, 2010   #2
my advise would be to check spellin and grammer like the first paragraph where it says programme the correct spelling is program just becarefull of minor mistakes.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 14, 2010   #3
I view beauty to be as an essence of God's creation. -----the meaning is unclear. Do you mean that the nature of creation is beautiful?

Beauty is holistic. ---again, i don't understand what you mean. I think of holistic as a word that makes me aware that it is necessary to consider an entire system instead of just a part.

Therefore, I want to bear witness to this quality.

I view beauty to be existent perceive beauty in the field of engineering. ---the sentence was unnecessarily complex.

My love for nature has developed me to make this choice.

I think this part is great! I like it a lot. I think this should be the way you start the paragraph:
The true beauty of the engineering study lies with the attributes that make it up: With the study of Physics as the fruit of God's great imagination, alongside mathematics, as the means of precise logic behind physical events.

I am of no faint-hearted inclination. ---I like this sentence a lot. And I like many, MANY of your very poetic sentences. BUT I suggest you simplify for the reader. Count how many different ideas you tried to share in this essay. I think you will find more than 15 different ideas. I challenge you to make the essay more powerful by focusing only on 5 ideas, including one idea that is the MAIN THEME of the essay.

Your writing is great and complex... reflecting a complex mind... but for the reader to have a powerful experience, limit the number of themes/ideas you cover.

:-)
Juliano 11 / 29  
Dec 14, 2010   #4
The ability to desire is of possession in human beings. Hitherto this desirous quality, aspirations will arise. I am currently enrolled in the a Diploma in Mechanical Engineering programme. This sentence seems strange to me and there are some spelling mistakes present in this essay. Also as someone stated above find the major theme and stick to it. Good luck hope this helped.


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