The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph

Prompt:

Tell us about a person who has influenced you in a significant way.

"Ana Flavia is the most stellar student I have ever seen. That girl is a genius!"
"With only 17 years-old, she was approved at every single Medical School she applied to!"
"She went to Harvard!"
During my Freshman year, these were the comments I frequently heard from everyone around my school. At that time, I wanted to be a medical researcher, and knowing that someone who achieved exactly what I wanted studied at the same school I did drove me to believe that if she could do it, I could do it too.

I logically concluded that, if I were like Ana Flavia, I would achieve the same stellar results. Therefore, I asked every single person about her: I wanted to know how that figure was, how she behaved, and what she did to become "Ana Flavia". I have also reached her and asked for some advice, which I strictly followed.

During my first year, she framed me from the time I woke up to study on Saturdays to the number of practice tests I did. However, I realized that I was building a character, a human-calculator who has never gotten a wrong question on a Math test, or who has always known from back to forth every single step of The Krebs Cycle. The more I compared myself to this "superhuman" that I created, the more frustrated I got.

"How can I take more than 5 minutes to understand the Lagrangian Standard Model equation? She would certainly take some few seconds!"
Nevertheless, I felt increasingly motivated me to be disciplined, resilient, and determined. I learned to never settle, but always aim for more, constantly seeking for improvement and growth. The more I worked on myself, the better my cognitive abilities got and, consequently, the higher my academic results.

On this road, I also understood that we all have genius and creativity in us: the way we live our lives and explore ourselves determine to which extend we develop them.

I also realized that her stellar achievements were not the result of some god-like feature that belongs to few of us. Instead, it was the consequence of a strong work ethic. More importantly, I also comprehended that I did not have to be "another Ana Flávia" to achieve my goals. I just had to be myself, the best version of myself; after all, Ana and I were so different! She woke up at 8 am to study on Saturdays, but I loved to wake up at 6 am; she wanted Medicine, and I discovered a passion for Physics; she had troubles with Portuguese; I, with Biology. Instead of building "another version" of Ana Flávia's puzzle, I decided to incorporate her pieces of commitment, dedication and persistence that I so much admire to construct my own.

Ana Flávia deeply shaped my perspective of myself and the world around me, driving me to also inspire those around me. I want to show people that perfect human-beings do not exist; that before cracking an essay, I had to throw many drafts away. After all, as Thomas Paine stated, "the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph".

Isabella , a minor biography who who Ana is would be more appropriate for this essay, along with the dialogue of admiration that you included. You have to also remember, that the reviewer does not know who this person is. So aside from her academic accomplishments, which are truly notable, you will need to let him know how successful Ana became in order to create a clearer picture as to why you would have chosen her as a role mode. What academic or profession related accomplishment that she have which told you that she was worthy of emulation? Based upon your understanding of who Ana is, what her work ethic is, and what set her apart from other women in the STEM field of your country, how did you use her as your inspiration? You are explaining to the reviewer what you understood about Ana, but you are not telling or showing how this understanding inspired who you are today and why you are persistent in pursuing your ambitions. What is the significant influence that she had on you? I don't get the sense of that in this essay. It needs to be developed in a more informative and, if possible, dramatic manner in order to better reflect the symbolism she stands for in your essay.

Your essay is good and I learned how Ana changed the way you thought. I recommend you to write more about the time you find it is OK to be yourself, not to be like Ana, to achive your goal since this is the important point in your essay. Also, your decision to study physics seems too sudden. What made you change your mind?

i really like your essay!

I do think that you should talk about why Ana influenced you, talk about what you found so exceptional about her, and not any other inspirational person.

Good luck!