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Difficulty need not foreshadow despair or defeat
Unfortunately modern world does not allow us to go deep in people's stories simply because of the lack of time. So we see only what a person achieved but we do not know what stands behind that.
Difficulties may engender despair because we are afraid that we are not enough to overcome them. To be said people will only know "She failed!", "He did not win!", "They did not make it!". They are not going to see our growth and gain right away. We ought to understand that despite the final results we never lose. If we genuinely try, we will improve our skills and become experienced. We must keep this in mind.
I remember when I came to the US as an exchange student, I did not speak a lot because of my insecurities about my level of English. I was afraid to make mistakes. But at the same time I did not like that I could not express myself consequently I could not be myself. Of course that negatively influenced the number of my friends and my mood overall. I realized that it could not continue like this. "Nothing will change if you keep being quiet" I started pushing myself. Starting with little phrases in class, trying to not overthink about mistakes I started making friends with a couple of people. I gained some confidence and it had acquired the chain effect which helped me to find wonderful people. Resembling my fighting with shyness, I know that if it did not happen, I would not appreciate having friends that much and I would not be so proud to conduct presentations in English later.
The harder is the way to a success, the more efficacious it is and the happier we feel when we finally achieve it.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 11,252 3656
Mariia, the quotation is asking you discuss a time when you overcame an obstacle. This is an obstacle that may have prevented you from achieving something in the past but then you overcame it and became better or successful because you faced your fear of despair and defeat. With that in mind, you should lose the first 2 paragraphs of your essay and focus on the development of the third paragraph as the embodiment of this quote instead. You have the foundation for the presentation of the fear, that should be a whole paragraph unto itself. Then the despair that you felt regarding your language inadequacies should cover at least another paragraph. Slaying your fears and succeed in the end should be at least 2 paragraphs more. One paragraph to explain what pushed to overcome it and how you overcame it. Then an example of your success as brought about by your ability to stare down the negativity that was holding you back.