In many Asian cultures, family is prioritized over all else. As a result, our family of four (dad, mom, sister, and I) doubled in number within a year. With the addition of our grandparents, who were too frail to care for themselves, and an uncle unable to support his son by himself, our 3 bedroom home quickly became overcrowded. My dad's responsibility was to support his wife and children. However, this responsibility widened to encompass his parents, his brother and nephew. I, only seven years old at the time of this change, was unaware of how difficult living together would become as tensions started to grow. My father's work ethic and attitude toward personal responsibility clashed with my uncle's leisurely approach to life. It escalated to the point of weekly clashes, as both sides expressed their discontent through impassioned verbal battles. With only my dad working full-time, it became difficult to maintain even the most basic standard of living. The weekly food bill doubled as the number of mouths to feed increased. This theme of having to make money stretch would reoccur throughout my childhood.
With family tensions growing all around us, a more urgent issue arouse. The health episode began with my grandmother, who, while living with us, developed Type 2 Diabetes. Given her advanced age, her body began to deteriorate--first her liver, then her kidneys. The struggle to maintain her dialysis schedule (every other day) proved overwhelming for my grandmother and my parents. After lengthy dialysis sessions that left her face an odd shade of brown, she would be utterly enervated. Sometimes, it felt like my parents, who drive her to each appointment, were even more exhausted than she. But eventually this would become routine, simply another task to accomplish before the day was complete. When I was only an elementary school student, these difficulties registered, but I wasn't yet fully aware of the sacrifices my parents were making for our family. A couple years down the line, as my grandmother's diabetes became more manageable, my family was faced with yet another obstacle. This time, it would be my health crisis.
Most twelve-year-olds have only two things in mind: video games and junk food. These, I confess, were the things that innocently occupied my adolescent thoughts. But one Sunday, on our way to church as a family, I turned my head slightly, revealing to my mother, an unusual lump. Though it had been growing under my own skin, on my own neck, I had never noticed it before. When my mother looked at it and expressed concern, I thought she was simply overacting. "Who cares?" I thought, and resumed a life of Pokémon fantasies and French fries. However, it wouldn't be long before my life would change forever. The lump? Cancer. I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I watched my parents cry upon hearing the diagnosis, as any caring parents would. Chemotherapy left my body frail. As my hair began to fall out, my family became more and more devastated. Once again, we were pitted against an unfortunate circumstance, one that seemed too enormous to overcome.
The length of time spent at the medical center, with regard to both mine and my grandmother's health needs, was incomprehensible. We hoped, after I beat my cancer, that we would never need to return to the hospital again. But, the trend continued, this time, with my grandfather being diagnosed with lung cancer, soon after I had celebrated my health victory. Again, my parents were forced to compromise their lives to take care of another ailing family member. Already 82 years old, it seemed that this would be the final battle of his life. Yet, there was a spirit inside my grandfather that motivated him to fight every day. He enjoyed going to chemotherapy because he knew that he was becoming healthier after each treatment. Eventually, his age would catch up with him, but he never gave his cancer an opportunity to take control of him. Watching him persevere each day, I was inspired.
The truth is, these unfortunate circumstances of my young life instilled certain values in me. I learned responsibility through the actions of my parents, persistence through my own struggles, and optimism through the health challenges of my grandparents. At 16 years of age, I have finally made the connection that I previously could not make. Families that struggle and make sacrifices together, though burdened by life's curveballs, often gain strength from their difficulties. Our hardship has made us a formidable family unit. I hope that, like my parents, I will be able to face tragic situations head-on, without faltering. I understand what it means to never give up. That's why I will never give up regardless of what future trials may lay ahead.
