Not all hardships in life come with warning signs. The greatest challenge of my life came unannounced on a day like any other, stealing from the peak of my youth. While initially devastating, this event changed my life- and for the better.
The sound of my alarm blared through the house on a Monday morning while my mother was preparing breakfast as usual. After ten minutes of listening to the ear piercing beeps, she decided to check on me. When she entered my room, she found me lying on the floor, barely responsive. I tried to stand, but immediately fell down and began having the first of my eight grand-mal seizures. My quiet, suburban neighborhood was swarmed with sirens and red and blue flashing lights.
I again woke up to the sound of beeping- only this time it was that of a beating heart monitor. I opened my eyes, feeling groggy and muddled. I was laden with uncomfortable tubes and wires, each connecting to machines next to my bed. There were several people in the room wearing white coats and scrubs. I finally realized that I was in a hospital, but I couldn't remember why I was there. I panicked; not only was I struggling to remember why I was there, but I struggled to remember anything beyond my own name. Only a few sparse memories remained, and even those were unclear. A doctor approached me and after explaining why I was in the hospital, he confirmed my greatest fear: it was not likely that I would regain my memory.
I returned home after my month-long stay in the hospital, but I knew that readjusting to life would be difficult. I knew I had to start over and face the daunting task of rebuilding my life. Above all, I wanted to return to school. Before I could do so, I met with a private teacher daily and rebuilt my foundations in English, math, and history.
My goal to return to school motivated me to put all my effort into my studies, and I worked every day to achieve this goal. I spent countless hours memorizing multiplication tables and reading history books, staying awake until I could barely keep my eyes open. I enrolled in classes during summer break and increased my course load during the school year.
After two long years I was finally ready to return to my school for tenth grade. Dealing with my memory loss consumed my life, but it was a temporary setback that I had been determined to overcome. This experience has had a lasting impact on my life, reminding me every day that I can accomplish my goals through hard work and dedication. It has shaped my mindset and my personality, proving that even the worst situations can be turned around. I feel especially proud for having risen above this incident, and it proved to make me a stronger person in the end.
Brooke, as I finish reading your essay, I believe it's written quiet well.
You have answered the prompt properly and made sure that as much personal as you can get
in writing the prompt, you also made sure that you include information on academics and
scholastic achievements as well as realizations.
What minor detail I'd like you to pay attention to is the presentation of your essay, make sure
that the paragraphs don't look to crowded as this will mean that you are just covering for the length
of the essay, which is not bad, however, it would be best if you can merge a few of the segmented paragraphs and
turn it into a minimum of 4 paragraphs in order to streamline focus and not to have your essay all over the place.
There's not much revision to be made, I just hope you write more and we will be here to assist you.
