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How my hardworking mom has influenced me in my life, College Essay.


Oct 6, 2010   #1
* Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.

As weird as it may sound my mother has had the most influence on me. I know that many people who find their mothers to be influential would be females, but i tend to have a different approach on this. Her hard work and determination to give me and my brother a better life than what she had, truly is influential to me. My mother is a single parent of two boys, me and my older brother. Although my father is still around from time to time, he has never financially supported me or my brother throughout our lives. Whenever he would come home from work, he would just take a shower and walk out the door within 30minutes to spend all that hes made that day. I can't even remember ever having a actual conversation with him. It's as if he was non existent and his only role in my life was to give me a life.

Now that I'm old enough to realize how much my mother has done for me and my brother she's someone i truly look up to. Her hard work throughout the years to support us, putting up with the fights me and my brother would have, and taking care of us as a single parent. It has always boggled my mind how she was able to pull all of this off. Her days would be routine, she wakes up 6 days a week at 7 o clock and work 13 hours a day, come home from work to make dinner, shower and go to sleep. This also meant that throughout my childhood me and my brother have been somewhat independent, we had no one to look out after us. We had to take care of ourselves by cooking our own breakfast and lunch with what my mother had provided for us in the fridge.

Although throughout my life i couldn't stand her at times due to a few reasons. Reasons such as how she would always be on my brothers side just because hes older than I. How she would always find the littlest things to complain to me about such as not placing my shoes correctly. Now that I'm older now I've learned how how i shouldn't talk back to my mom and how i should listen to her because of all she has done for me. I didn't realize how much she has provided for me and my brother until the summer of my Junior year, when i had the experience of working for the first time. Each week i would work for about 35-40 hours during the summer, which allowed me to make more than enough to support myself and not having the need to depend on my mother as much as i used to.

She influenced me to become a better man that my father was, to work hard in life, and never give up even when there are many obstacles to overcome. Her life goal was to give me and my brother a life she never had , and now my life goal is to give my mother a life my grandparents never had.

My last sentence "Her life goal was to give me and my brother a life she never had , and now my life goal is to give my mother a life my grandparents never had." i feel is a bit confusing, and need help on wording it better so that it would make a better impact on the reader since it is the last sentence to my essay. Basically what I'm trying to say is that i want to give my mom a better life when she gets older, one that my grandparents never got to experience. (they're alive)

Any input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

EF_KevinThreads: 8
Posts: 13,840
[Contributor] 129  
Oct 10, 2010   #2
As weird as it may sound my mother has had the most influence on me.

Why is this weird? It seems like she would be one of the people who would be most likely to have the most influence... her or your father.

I know that many people who find their mothers to be influential would be females, but i tend to have a different approach on this.--- oh, do you mean that you think boys usually aremost influenced by fathers and girls by mothers? That is not necessarily the case. Anyway, I don't think these sentences are important enough to be included in the essay. Let's get focused on the theme! :-)

I have to add to this sentence so that it is a complete sentence:
Although she has been a great parent, throughout my life I couldn't stand her at times due to a few reasons conflicts.

In the sentence below, I will add two apostrophes and a verb (include).
These reasons include times she would be on my brother's side just because he's older than I.

I like the ending. I wish, though, that you could find room to tell about how her influence helped to develop your interest in the subjects you want to study and the career you want to have. That will make you seem like a more serious applicant. Talk a little about the field of expertise into which you have been influenced.

:-)


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