My heart pounded with anxiety as I neared the grey door. What lay only three steps ahead was nothing like the colorful diagrams I had casually skimmed through in my Physiology class. The necropsy would enliven my textbook's flat pages into a tangible surprise. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes. The door clicked open.
The pungent scent of blood overwhelmed me. Struck by shock, I quickly whipped my head forward. Before me, the cow's skin hung flaccid from the ceiling. Around it, scientists probed bits of viscera in search of the underlying illness. Off to the side, the creature's massive stomach, ravaged by an aggressive pus infection, was propped on frontal display for further inspection.
An inextricable knot formed in my throat as I was rendered speechless. My eyes locked themselves into a perpetual gaze dappled by shades of crimson. Death consumed my senses; I could smell it, taste it as it engulfed me in the reeking air.
But to my surprise, I was otherwise...fascinated. Before me was not mere anatomy, but an elaborate masterpiece of nature. The limp skin became an artistic canvas, illustriously painted by brushstrokes of crimson blood as they dripped in thin streams. I pressed on to examine the gossamer web of red and blue vessels that still emanated with lifelike vibrancy. But underneath, an esoteric story of the cow's life lingered with the corpse, a story of pain as the body was torn by malignant disease. Amidst the spectacle, the dull, lifeless eyes begged not to be forgotten as a living being of the past. In front of me was a creature which, alive only hours before, suffered from an agonizing death. In front of me was a complete picture of life enlivened by my curiosity.
Walking out of the room, I came out with a profound appreciation for all things hidden from face value. Perhaps the body's intricacy engrossed me the most; seeing what obscure organs lay underneath mere skin transfixed me into a persisting state of wonder. The animal cadaver was both a pure specimen of science and a manifestation of artistic perfection.
Although some withdraw from a dissection's atrocity, I marvel at its inherent beauty. Perhaps a necropsy epitomizes everything there is to fear, from the sickening image of a lifeless being to horrors unseen by the naked eye. Death itself is grim, if not terrifying, and often beseeches us to dread it. But repulsion cannot hide the more profound gift of learning from me. As I pursue a career in medicine, I desire to explore the secrecy of death, to question its mysteries and to discover the heart of the matter. My eyes serve as a daily witness the exuberance of life which surrounds me. My fingertips yearn to do more; they seek to nurture the living, to acquire from the deceased, to understand both the pleasant and merciless truths of existence...
Learn from the dead to heal the living. That is what it means to be alive.
The imagery was vivid. i found my stomach turned when i read this...frankly, the shift at the beginning of the third paragraph is just really, really good. However, I would expand your conclusion to elaborate on the lesson you learned
That was really good, I just hope your admissions officer isn't squeamish! But I do agree that you should expand your conclusion a little more, after all the college really wants to hear about you
I kind of liked the former better
Wow that was powerful, I didn't happen to catch any mistakes, but the last sentence stuck out to me Learn from the dead to heal the living. That is what it means to be alive. The last part may be a little bold, it's kinda iffy. Idk if you want to tone it down a bit, because on one hand the AO may have the mindset that "he is only a teenager, what does he really now about life" or the might like it because the whole essay was powerful
Very nice essay! That last part reminded me of Frankenstein! He searched graves in pursuit of the secret of life. I didn't find any errors in your essay, but yeah, I think you might want to cut out that last part. Sounds cliche to me. I think the sentence before that is a much better ending.
hmm...contrary to what has been said, i love the ending. i thought it was really powerful.
your descriptions are fantastic. i honestly feel like i'm walking through those doors watching the cow with you. every word seems just right.
i would only recommend to add more "you" and have less "cow" if you know what i mean.
i can see what you saw and smell what you smelled. your passion comes across, but i want more. i know you're very good at painting scenes, but i don't want "you" to get lost in it.
i didn't catch any grammatical errors, but to be honest, your writing ability is intimidating and many times better than mine.
good luck (:
I'm sorry, I was being very confusing when I referred to "the last part" several times.
I think you should cut the last sentence:
"Learn from the dead to heal the living. That is what it means to be alive"
This part sounds a little cliche to me.
I think the last paragraph is the most gripping part of your essay, and would make a much better ending. In other words, I liked the Frankenstein part. :)
