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I hate classical music/Grand Theory of Unification/Roommate/ Socks matters; Stanford


Baldrick1115 1 / -  
Mar 2, 2013   #1
Hi :)

Could you please give my essays and see what you think? Stanford is my top choice and I wanted to see if I had a shot (Chem major):

Making sense of chaos (common app essay)
I hate classical music. I hate chemistry. These are the thoughts of a thirteen-year-old me upon seeing the grades he's gotten for both subjects. It was difficult for me to fully compute that someone in their right mind could like classical music, particularly orchestral music. Just listening to the works of Beethoven was overwhelming - the notes would tumble over me in an unbearably chaotic manner to the extent that I decisively switched to much more contemporary, mainstream melodies and tunes. These were much easier to understand - they had words! Likewise, I didn't find chemistry a favorable subject as I believed I lacked the capacity to memorize the countless amounts of terms, the myriad of scientific formulae and the innumerable number of molecules and their rearrangement. My frustration after every failed attempt at doing well in the subject grew ever larger and added to my hatred towards it; at such a young age I had already fashioned myself a mortal nemesis: chemistry.

It was only later in life that I would discover true beauty within the orchestra. I opened my mind and found that behind those screeching violins, squealing oboes, and bellowing trumpets, the notes danced together in hectic harmony. My transition from a hatred of classical music to an appreciation of it and later a passion for it was fairly smooth, yet this was not the case for chemistry, as it was a much more grueling and arduous task to fulfill. It took quite some time for my hatred to become indifference, and an even longer time for my indifference to become tolerance. And, naturally, my tolerance became appreciation as I began to put more effort into understanding the beauty of chemistry.

My passion for music has been manifested in a variety of ways, yet the primary manifestation is playing the piano. This instrument is mine; this instrument is able to vocalize what my mouth cannot; this instrument is loyal to me and will be for the remainder of my life and I am be loyal to it. My nascent admiration of chemistry could not manifest itself so easily, but there was a way. I decided to take IB Chemistry at Higher Level because I was aware of the fact that it would pose a serious challenge on me.

My anecdotal experiences with regards to the birth of my interest in chemistry and music are manifestations of the ideology that grew along with them. We all live amongst the chaos that is life and I've learnt that it doesn't give you the option of merely switching songs or dropping classes but rather allows you the opportunity to succeed by learning to listen. This personal ideology has motivated me to succeed at harder activities rather than easier ones, for the personal gratification is much larger. I like to submerge myself in a world of chaos and make order of what surrounds me.

Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.

As I approached the end of tenth grade, a friend of mine introduced me to a concept I was completely unfamiliar with. He spoke of a Grand Theory of Unification - a theory (a theorized theory, to be exact) that the great Albert Einstein had worked on for the last thirty years of his life, without prevail. As I dived deep into the entrails of the internet to learn more on this theory and all that is affected by its absence, I began to question if whether or not I should study science, given that the man whose name is now synonymous with genius failed at finding an all-important key for scientific discovery. I questioned myself, over and over: Should I, a mere boy born in Miami and raised in El Salvador, be a scientist?

Perhaps the answer does not lie in whether or not I'll find the Grand Theory of Unification - or any other theory, for that matter - but rather if I'll have Einstein's drive in anything I do. I've learned that, perhaps, intelligence is not based on one's level of success or contributions, but rather on one's determination to do anything. Our culture has done wonders - it has uncovered some of the greatest secrets that riddled our ancestors. Yet it suffers from an insatiable obsession with truth, fact and a fixed result. We have been raised in a pragmatic society and taught to discard anything that does not suggest concrete evidence. We have undermined the true essence of intellectuality - a process, not an end.

Our pragmatism is killing our ability - there are thousands of brilliant, able people out there who could be doing so much for science, yet they don't because they are scared of not getting an answer. There are those, however, who do confront the risk head-on and go into science - perhaps not to attain answers but rather to grow intellectually. I know I am - as I know that the process of getting to a conclusion is much more rewarding than the conclusion itself. Most deem Einstein's final years a failure - I deem them an intellectual triumph.

A letter to my future roommate

My dear, future roommate:

Be prepared to:
1. Wake up early in the morning and find me reading or watching the news - an activity I've been accustomed to by my parents.

2. Occasionally hear a quote from a book I've recently read or a movie I've just watched.
3. Laugh if you find me drawing hands or speaking German. I do these things to try and improve my skills - or at least that's my justification.

4. Listen to, despite my disposition to study chemistry, discussions on general science or mathematics; from Quantum Mechanics to the work of Leonhard Euler.
5. Witness, if you happen to come into the dorm room unannounced, the "great" Juan Chamorro conducting his imaginary orchestra with headphones on and a pen for a baton.

6. Become an expert on Salvadoran history and a royal lover of British Television shows - particularly Doctor Who and Blackadder.
7. Find me exhausted and perhaps asleep after an intense swimming session where I've, hopefully, beaten my record (51.36 at the moment!).

You may, my dear roommate, anticipate:
1. That your roommate will want to listen and learn about what you're studying - despite my, as aforementioned, disposition to chemistry. I think it's always good to know a bit about all subjects.

2. A shoulder to cry on, if necessary - let's hope not!
3. A confidante of secrets and a strong advocate for debating.

But, most important of all, expect:

A friend.

What matters to you, and why?

Last weekend I saw a woman sitting on the pavement right outside a gas station. She was holding a child that couldn't have been older than six months. Neither one of them were wearing socks. I reflected and thought to myself: socks matter. Perhaps a trivial piece of clothing to most people, they mean something entirely different to me.

I have two different kinds of socks in my closet. Thick, white tube socks and thin, dark blue socks. I appreciate the existence of my white socks as I believe they are symbolic of how fortunate I am. The socks, under their threaded cotton surface, beneath their warm sanctuary, mean I have a family to provide me with a comfortable lifestyle. A life under a roof, with enough food to never go hungry, with a family that cares for me.

The blue socks have an entirely different meaning for me. I wear them as part of my school uniform, which I wear five days a week. The fact that I have blue socks and am able to have a suitable education matters to me extraordinarily. I know that by having an education I can gain the knowledge required to be a productive member of society, and nothing is more satisfying than being part of humanity and helping its progress into the future.

Socks matter, but, more importantly, their symbolism matters to me. I strongly believe that appreciating the effort my parents have made all their lives to get me where I am today is an unparalleled obligation. I cannot nearly begin to repay them in any way other than by showing them that I am determined to become a productive member of society. Being distinguished as a person rather than as a number matters to me - and I know I can do so thanks to the socks my parents have provided me with. I want to be able to contribute to society, hopefully as a chemist. I reiterate: socks matter.
chessman567 5 / 170 11  
Mar 3, 2013   #2
I really like the sock one, but the ending just falls apart. It's just my opinion, so you should get more advice. I love the symbolism; very unique.

In contrast, I don't really like the roommate one. I don't think it is written in a "unique and fun" way. Sorry if I am being harsh, but I did think it was a bit corny.


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