This is a very very rough rough draft and its 30 characters over. Any help will be greatly appreciated. Thanks!!
Sculptor Jacques Lipchitz once said, "Cubism is like standing at a certain point on a mountain and looking around. If you go higher, things will look different; if you go lower, again they will look different. It is a point of view." With this in mind, describe a moment when your perspective changed.
"We're having chickpea stew for dinner!" my mom exclaimed over the phone."Um...no." I weighed my options at the food court. The mall located a block from school made it facile to drop my mom's dull meals in favor of diet cokes and sugar-free cookies. I settled on a fat-free shake. It was the epitome of perfection; every sip resembled a snippet of ethereal bliss. How could my mom devour a gargantuan plate of chickpeas and rice, when she could enjoy a decadent treat equal in calories? When my mom picked me up from the mall, she handed me warm Pyrex. "No thanks." Her face dropped; I sighed. Why couldn't she comprehend that my diet permitted me to be thin and consume my favorite foods simultaneously? The car ride to her new job was awkwardly silent. An eternity later, her new boss, an E.R. M.D. and ivy alumnus, greeted us and showed us our room. She gave directions to my mom; vacuum, mop; prepare homemade food for the kids. She emphasized the word "homemade," explaining that the majority of E.R. patients' visits arise from improper diets. When she left, I wondered into an unending abyss of health books-I'd stumbled upon her library. I scanned one after another, and was astounded at their content. I learned that diet foods were often unhealthier than their conventional forms; fat free foods contain additional fillers, sugar-free foods contain cancer-causing artificial sweeteners. I'd always deemed all things artificial as proof of our radically technologically-advanced society; I'd never pondered the plausibility of their negative consequences. Whereas chickpeas-and a myriad of other foods I'd spitefully rejected -turned out to be nutritional powerhouses. I altered my perspective on foods, realizing that what matters in foods isn't the calorie, fat, or sugar content -but the nutritive value. This inspired my quest to open the eyes of the millions of others out there trying to diet unsuccessfully like I was. The best way to diet is to not diet at all, but to enjoy wholesome foods in moderation.
i dont get what supplement essays are
it says to do it for if youre applying for engineering and liberal medicine and other things but do you have to choose one?
does anyone have the questions for the supplement essays?
what if i dont want to major in any of the things they tell me to write a supplement for?
You go on the common app and it tells you what essays you have to do for each college, and for Brown, you have to do supplement essays regardless of whether your applying for engineering and liberal medicine or not, they just have additional ones for those two.
I find your starting 'hook' about the quotes of a sculptor pretty interesting!
"With this in mind, describe a moment when your perspective changed." -this sounds a little awkward, don't you think? when read with the whole passage in general. A possible suggestion is to change it to something like: "With this in mind, I comprehend the time when my perspective was altered."
All the best!
I am also applying to Brown, and the first paragraph is actually the prompt; it's not part of the essay.
Overall, I think it is a good piece of writing.
