"Having a child made me a better person"- meaningful experience, FAMU admissions

When a person has their first child being married and accomplished comes to mind. Due to certain circumstances I took one the most important steps in life of having my child at the age of seventeen. In this generation becoming a mother at such a young age is looked at as a disappointment, but giving birth to my son caused me to take more control my life and focus on furthering my education and raising my son. Before having my son I never thought about going to college but then realized nothing can be accomplished without a college education. I want the provide the best life possible for my son, so I decided that I would attend a Historically Black College.

Having a child made me a better person, it taught me to have patience and to become a more mature adult. It also changed my whole outlook on life, before I lived life thinking that everything should be handed to me but after having him I realized that I would have to work hard in life to achieve my goals.

THIS ALL I HAVE SO FAR DOES IT SOUND GOOD????

a very unique experience.

I don't quite understand what you are trying to say with "When a person has their first child being married and accomplished comes to mind."

Is there a world limit? I guess my suggestion would be: instead of given a general conclusion like"giving birth to my son caused me to take more control my life and focus on furthering my education and raising my son.", you can provide some details.

Hope this is helpful.

A comma after "married" in that first sentence would make it clearer.

Due to certain (find a better adjective to use! :-) circumstances I took one the most important steps in life at the age of seventeen: having my child.


I think I understand it. It means having kids makes you want to be married and accomplished -- if you care about marriage and accomplishment. Not everyone believes in marriage, though, so it might improve the credibility of the essay if you write:

When a person with a background like mine has a child, the notions of marriage and accomplishment come to mind.

Before having my son I never thought about going to college, but then I realized nothing can be accomplished without a college education.

It also changed my whole outlook on life; before I had been thinking that everything should be handed to me, b ut after...

You seem to have only one real point to make, which is that it is important to you to accomplish good things in order to be a good parent. Now you need to think of a few sub-ideas related to this, and write a body paragraph for each idea.

:-)