I'm having some trouble pulling together my second essay, in which the prompt is somewhat open-ended, asking for a personal talent, quality, experience, etc. I have some bits and pieces written up, but I'm having trouble determining what I want my complete message to be. I figured I'd post some of the bits that I'm more fond of here and see what feedback I get, and if anyone can help me piece together what I'm trying to say.
Part of what I'm trying to find a way to say that I floated around without direction for a little while before I figured out what I wanted to do with my life. I did things that were impressive, because generally a talented person, but nothing I accomplished really meant anything (at least as far as what direction my life is going to take... something like that). As an example, it was really impressive that at the age of 19, I was an office manager that was instrumental in helping run an entire office, but it doesn't actually matter since it didn't really move my life along in any one direction. I was just in stasis for a really, really long time until I realized that I wanted to become a psychologist. So one point I was thinking of going with on this essay for a while was that I am a person that has a considerable amount of drive and talent, and now that I have a direction in life, I can focus my drive, which will allow me to achieve great things. Another thing I was thinking of focusing on is my ability to wear many hats and succeed at almost anything I put my mind to, but I feel like that would come off a little too self-important, even if I try to emphasize that I know I'm not infallible.
Here are two snippets that I have that I'd like to refine and incorporate into my essay, although the second part could be moved to somewhere else (since I have to write a little tiny blurb about why I'm applying for EOP).
Thankfully, my quick-thinking and my ambition allows me to cope with radical change. At the very beginning of the current semester, my husband lost his job as an on-site manager at an apartment complex, and we were notified that we were required to pack up our life, find a place to live and move out at the end of 72 hours. Instead of being overwhelmed by an unplanned event, my brain instantly kicked into overdrive. Boxes were packed, furniture was stored, a moving a budget for the next two months of bills was planned, and I was still able to find the time to attend both days of classes during that hectic three days, even studying for and acing a psychology test.
One of the things that fuels my drive is my two younger sisters. I will be the first person in our family to attend and graduate from college, and I want them to see that you don't need parents who make a lot of money and who are college educated in order to carve out a successful future for yourself. I want to show them that you can determine your own future without worrying about the past successes about your parents. My 16-year-old sister is one year away from filling out her own college applications, and I am so excited that I will be there to guide her through the process, to not only help her succeed where I made mistakes, but to watch her use her own talents to set and achieve her goals.
I also had something about how I like to be proactive about fixing my weaknesses. The example I was planning to use was about how I realized that I needed better people skills if I wanted to be a psychologist, so I decided to get a job as a cashier at a grocery store where I interact with hundreds of people a day, but it didn't really feel like it fit. But it can be added back in if I find a theme for my essay where it would fit.
But I definitely think the 2nd part with you and your husband having to pack up could be your experience
I had been thinking that previously, but I kind of already told a "life experience" story with the first essay, which was the one in which I talked about why I chose my major, and I don't want my application to read like I'm whining "my life is haaaard, let me in!" (not that I did that in my first essay, I just feel like if I tell a second "here's something that happened in my life that was difficult" story, that's how my application will come across) I want this essay to be a little more positive.
I'm really struggling with the direction that I want this to take, honestly. I've tried stepping away from writing the essay for over a week, but I didn't come back to the table with any new ideas, just the same jumbled bunch of paragraphs that lack direction. It's frustrating.
I also rewrote the second paragraph to try and give a better idea of what I was trying to say. I was trying to write as fast as I could because I was racing my laptop's dying battery to post it, so it didn't come off as very... coherent, lol.
