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"healing power of spontaneity" - NYU Supplement


IVSolomon 2 / 3  
Dec 28, 2009   #1
In addition to any work experience that you listed on your application, please tell us how you spent your most recent summer vacation.

Last summer was a time for me to reconnect with the simple beauties in life. After the stresses of school subsided I was able to rediscover the surprising healing power of spontaneity. Adventures were thought up just by merely placing a finger on a map and declaring "here". I traveled. I learned. I observed. Joyous moments spent with family and friends were filled with love and laughter. It was all a gentle escape from my daily court internship activities.

This is for the NYU app. Let me know what you think and if I should change anything. Also, everything about my court internship is mentioned in my commonapp so that is why I did not elaborate on it. THANKS!

Eight 3 / 5  
Dec 28, 2009   #2
Hey,

I liked the response. You did quite a bit in such a short paragraph. But the one thing I thought it lacked was the mention of specifics. It leaves a lot of questions of what you physically did or went during the summer, so I don't think it technically answers the question.

If I remember correctly, that part of the app was just a short response, not anything asking for deep thoughts. But I might be wrong.

surprisingly healing power of spontaneity

I'm pretty sure thats what you meant; I thought it sounded a bit awkward.
applesandtea 3 / 9  
Dec 28, 2009   #3
Last summer was a time for me to reconnect with the simple beauties in life.

I liked it, but you need to be more specific. This really doesn't answer the question; it's a vague response, but I like the way you wrote it haha...all I did was basically list a bunch of things I did :)
dizzydaydreams 5 / 26  
Dec 28, 2009   #4
i liked it...i had a similar approach. but i do agree with applesandtea. a little vague and ambiguous...and plain. try using better vocabulary to give it some life.

answer mine?
fuschiafleur - / 9  
Dec 28, 2009   #5
you said you pointed on a map and said "here"
that part of your essay sounded the best to me, not many kids I know are that spontaneous...if you really did do that, I would give specifique examples to make it sound more believable...otherwise it just sounds fluffy, like it's just figurative, like you didn't actually do that..

would you mind reviewing mine also?
OP IVSolomon 2 / 3  
Dec 29, 2009   #6
NYU- How i spent my last summer

After the stress of school subsided, I spent last summer rediscovering the healing power of spontaneity. Adventures were thought up by merely placing a finger on a map and declaring "here". I traveled to Peddler's Village, PA and discovered a town filled with unknown wonders, including what is now my favorite toy store. I spent hours strolling along the beaches of Oceanport, NJ, eating a chocolate covered banana while watching the sunset. I traveled. I learned. I observed. I lived like a dreamer.

Let me know what you think!
kkrulez3001 4 / 6  
Dec 29, 2009   #7
i'm really jealous, i wish i spent my summer like this! only one correction: i wouldn't use "healing" as an adjective, because that made me wonder what you were trying to heal.

can you take a look at my nyu and carnegie mellon supps? thanks!
Ivy_Equestrian 13 / 55  
Dec 29, 2009   #8
Nice! Sounds like a fun summer.
How about 'rejuvenating' in place of 'healing'?


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