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I hear the samba music playing ; extracurricular activity


ticklelisaelmo 8 / 42 3  
Dec 31, 2012   #1
Any thoughts or edits are appreciated!

I hear the samba music playing in the background as I start to warm up. Although it's been a stressful week, my worries are carried away by the loud music around me. As I dance, energy flows through me body and rids all the sluggishness I feel. My mindset is relaxed yet my body is lively. As I dance, nothing is going through my mind. All I hear is the music. All I think are the steps. All I feel is excitement. Every time I dance, I am carried away to another place - a place that does not revolve around stress, apprehension or fear. Instead, I am transported to a place where I am confident, carefree and elated. The atmosphere around me is charged and electric. Because this experience is temporary, I take full advantage of it. Regardless of how tired I am, the moment I start to dance is when I transform into the lighthearted dancer - the dancer who doesn't have to worry about anything because she is finally free.
ding377 1 / 29 2  
Dec 31, 2012   #2
My mindset is relaxed, yet my body is lively.

Every time I dance, I am carried away to another place - a place that does not revolve around stress, apprehension, or fear. Instead, I am transported to a place where I am confident, carefree, and elated.

Wow, this is great! Other than a few commas, I couldn't find any errors.
Would you mind looking over my extracurricular essay too?


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