Growing up recently has affected me in ineffable ways that I still can't comprehend 100%
"Growing up recently" makes it sound like you haven't grown up--until just recently. Ineffable means inexpressible, but the connotation goes deeper. Usually when something is ineffable, it is because of a spiritual or sacred nature. When you use "ineffable" and then say "ways that I still can't describe," it is redundant.
Despite that fact, the verisimilitude that something vile has happened is no mirage.
Verisimilitude is another tricky word because of what it connotes that something
appears to be true. Even "vile," which on the surface appears to mean "bad" connotes sexual depravity and sin. This sentence seems to say, "The appearance of truth that a sin has occurred is not a mirage." It gets muddled. It is kind of like using several double-negatives in the same sentence where the readers has to keep track of the writer's intent.
a surge within my family life started to disrupt my stable current of living.
I see what you are saying here, but it is not immediately clear. "Surge" means a forward motion--usually a billowing or wave-like motion. It wasn't really a wave that disrupted your family life, but the newly-formed undercurrent of animosity between your parents.
The connection between my parents seemed languished, and it proposed an accurate vignette of what was to come.
Languish is a verb. Languished is the past tense. She languished in an abusive relationship. You are using it here as an adjective to describe your parents' connection. If you omitted the word "seemed," it would allow "languished" to act as a verb. "Propose" can mean to suggest, but it doesn't work here. "Propose" is more like making an offer or plan--you propose marriage, propose a new business plan, propose an exchange of services.
I am going to run out of time to comment on every sentence like this, but let me point out just a couple of other things:
The high standards she held me to make me a valuable scholar
A valuable scholar? Did you mean "made me value scholarship"? No offense, but I doubt that there is a high school kid out there who is really a valuable scholar. In my mind, that distinction is reserved for people accomplished in their fields.
To my mother, I seemed effete
Not the word you want here. There are pitfalls to using a thesaurus. Effete can mean drained of energy, but it also means sterile (as in unable to reproduce), decadent, and effeminate. It has become a euphemism for sissies and homosexuals.
I don't want this to be a lachrymose tale of sympathy.
It isn't a tale of sympathy. A tale designed to invoke sympathy?
'till DEATH do us part." Today does not seem better, for not much has changed,
The tone here is too negative and is a little more insight than an admissions committee would want. The caps on "DEATH" make it look like you have designs to off one of your parents. While a parental divorce is disruptive and painful, it is common and many children survive it. Show a little more redemption here. Have your bump, but then get over it. Don't get me wrong, I am not psychoanalyzing you or saying that the situation doesn't suck. But ... for an admission essay, it won't put you in a good light if you linger on the pain that your parents' divorce caused you.
I will accept no more failure and instability, for I feel what I am going through now is enough
This is a broad statement and unrealistic. Life is full of failures--large and small. Instability is also a part of life. The opposite of instability is stagnation and that isn't a positive trait either. You may strive for success, but accepting the occasional failure with grace is a hallmark of a mature and self-actualized person. AND ... while you have some say and control over the failures and the stability of your life, you do not have complete control. You may decide that you won't accept failure, but it will come your way regardless.