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"The Heartbeat" - APPLICATION ESSAY - TELL US WHO YOU ARE


chikhnguyen16 1 / -  
Oct 13, 2019   #1
A DOT
A summer day in 2002, I was just a dot, lying lazily in my mother's belly, eager to come out to the world. Nine months is what it took for the beats of Art from my father's heart beats frantically in mine. That heartbeat I have today is the most precious gift, the most wonderful passion and the most meaningful property I have inherited from my beloved parents.

A LINE
From ages 3 to 12, I was stuck with the title "a good drawer", however, I was not at all aware of own ability. A summer day in 2012 turned over a new leaf to me. I finally realized I could be much better than a mere title in everyone's eyes. From this moment on, the world seemed to be full of magic. As I entered grade 6, working hard was not enough to maintain a good grade so I decided I needed a more effective learning method. I realized that my memory works better with pictures than it does with words and numbers so instead of trying to memorize lengthy, boring History and Literature lessons, I shared my heartbeats and made them alive with illustrations. The enthusiasm and satisfaction I had when enlivening the lessons are the guidelines that lead me to the right track after 12 years wandering around. Being determined with my own ability gave me a huge boost in my self-confidence. Nine years is what it took me to find the purpose of my life and to understand the insight of myself.

A SHAPE
Secondary school years came with the self-assurance of my ability. Engagement in extracurricular activities, community voluntary works, and experiences with art had gradually strengthened my destiny: I was meant to study Art, I was meant to chase this passion, I am to make my dream work. As I meet more people, access to different cultures, different perspectives, I grow from a line into a complete shape. Work as a design at many organizations showed me the reality of Art industry. Art classes taught me the fundamentals of Art, allowed to look closer at the origin to think more critically. That was the time I feel like I could touch the moon, turn ice into fire, everything is possible when you know who you are, what is your responsibility and what you should do to complete what you were assigned. Three years is what it took me to finally know the real passion in me, the real destiny of me, and the fate I was meant to fulfill.

A FORM
My Art teacher often says: "Light is the most important factor that makes Art alive: it makes color visible, it creates depth in shapes". Art is the light of me. It is the way I express my true colors, it is the way I shine. It reflects the good and the not-yet-good sides of me so I can practice on the strengths and improve the weaknesses. Eighteen years is what it took me to decide I shall devote all my efforts to accomplish the most important goal in my life, to fulfill my written destiny.

AN PIECE
Dots, lines, shapes, and forms are the language of Art, they serve to enhance the beauty of Art. Likewise, I wish to dedicate my lifetime to complete the responsibility of Art, to beautify society, to make the world a better place.

Maria - / 1,099 389  
Oct 14, 2019   #2
@chikhnguyen16
Welcome to the forum. I'm going to provide you with my feedback on this writing to hopefully help you in your writing endeavors. If you have more questions regarding your essay, just hit us up and tell us. We would be more than happy to assist!

Firstly, with regards the construction of your sentences, I recommend trying to utilize more appropriate and formal punctuation marks. Not doing this would essentially cut-off your writing, taking into consideration that you would be unable to relate well with academic writing. If we take a glance at your first paragraph, for instance, the initial sentence immediately hits hard because of the lack of structure. Punctuation marks will essentially be your best friends as you are writing.

Furthermore, the latter portions of the text also need to be compartmentalized in a better light. If we take a look at your second paragraph, for example, it immediately is relevant how you had been describing and reiterating, however you were doing a chunk of this without any regard for how the essay will be received. Please work on prioritizing which information should actually be incorporated - and which ones you can get away with not having.


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