The prompt is as stated: Consider something in your life you think goes unnoticed and write about why it's important to you.
This is my first attempt at the essay, and any help and critiques would be awesome!!!
It started off as an intuitive feeling during the summer of my Sophomore year in High School. There were hushed whispers and conversations taken behind closed doors. When a question was asked, it was answered with a burden filled heart and unknowing eyes. I knew that something was wrong, and only time would tell what exactly it was. This was the summer that had forced me and my family to put our entire lives into perspective. This was the summer that I found out that my mother was diagnosed with Stage 3 Colon Cancer.
I did not comprehend the enormity of the situation, and what my life would soon be. At the age of fourteen, the only major life event that I had gone through was the death of my grandmother, and I knew the cause was of old age. Imagining the word death and my mother being associated with one another just wasn't possible. My mother was my role model and hero, and to have her be ripped away from me before achieving my future goals was unthinkable. When the school year came around, I assumed the responsibilities of my mother at home. While going through the chemotherapy and radiation she was physically and mentally unable to perform her duties. Maintaining my own responsibilities like school work and friendships was extremely difficult at times, but I managed. The topic of my mother was never brought up around friends, acquaintances or teachers unless asked about, I learned to distance myself from the reality because it was easier to bare.
Finally, as time went by I would walk down the hallways and even out in society and I would look around and realize that I had nothing to feel ashamed about. I was not to be conceited and assume that I was the only one that had a parent with cancer. There had to be other children who have gone through similar things as I, whose family dynamics have changed, and personal lives. These people are unnoticed in society because the main player in the 'game' is the cancer patient themselves. In reality, who is the person that helps take care of the ill, who is the person that takes over the responsibilities of the ill, who is the person that has to deal with the stress and unknown. The children, or even the spouses are the supporters that give encouragement and life to the cancer patient, even if it means there will be drawbacks to their own. We are the supporting characters of the story, and we are the ones that help make a difference in our loved ones life. I am proud to say that my mother has been cancer free for 9 months, and that I was able to be a part of her recovery.
"I am proud to say that my mother has been cancer free for 9 months, and that I was able to be a part of her recovery."
Your sensory details are extremely good, maybe you should add the story on how you found out your mother was cancer free using adjectives?
