Well you give a good impressive start : )
I find a gap between the following two lines;
I neither spoke nor understood mandarin, but somehow I had convinced myself to move into a completely new environment to learn its culture and history. Now I am in America, neither as shy nor as linguistically inept, but as curious and challenge-loving as ever.
....The link between the two must come more effectively.
and this worldview is one of hope and the wish to give back to the world what it has given me
.... this part needs improvement as it does not flow well.
But, the rest is fine. Of course you have lots of potential for improving this more :D