If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why you would like to study at Duke.
For the majority of my life, I have been told that I will become an engineer. My mom and my grandfather are both engineers and naturally have pushed their passion into my life. My grandfather always says things like " You have the mind of an engineer" and "I think we have a young engineer in the making here". I never disagreed with him because I enjoyed math and science so if that what a person becomes when the like math and science then that is what I will do. It was not until my junior year of high school that I realized that engineering encompassed much more than just math and science and becoming an engineer would be what I want to do with my life.
My junior year was the second year I had been a part of the robotics team at my school and last year we set a goal of qualifying for the VEX World Championships. After working tirelessly for months we achieved our goal, and at that point there was no doubt in my mind there was anything else I wanted to do in college. Robotics gave me the chance to apply all of my knowledge of math and science in new and fascinating ways. I discovered robotics was more about problem solving and creative thinking rather than building or programming. My senior year I decided to take courses that would help reinforce my decision to pursue engineering such as AP Physics, Advanced Topics in Mathematics, Multivariable Calculus, and Introduction to Engineering.
As clichĂŠ as it may be, when I stepped on campus at Duke, I knew that it would be a place I would love to spend four years or more of my life. The beauty of the buildings and landscape along with the atmosphere of the people heavily influenced my decision to apply to Duke at my number one choice. After experiencing the campus through a tour of the University, the academics and college life offered by Duke were clearly extraordinary. Not only Duke's reputation as one of the top schools in the nation, but also from what I was able to see first hand while on campus helped me realize that at Duke I would be challenged and pushed to be the best student I can be. Duke's size offers the best of both for me worlds in the sense that I can receive the personal attention and recourses with smaller class sizes but also receive a feeling of a larger campus and student body with a distinguished sports program. Most importantly though, if I were fortunate enough to attend Duke I know it would be a place where I would be happy, successful, and proud with everything I am able to accomplish as Blue Devil.
to apply to Duke atas my number one choice. Other than that, the essay is grammatically perfect.
One small recommendation, I would strongly suggest talking more about Duke's engineering program rather than just the general themes of the school. For the Trinity essay, your "Why Duke?" portion is good, but for Pratt, focus on the programs.
I wish you the best of luck :)
If you could please read my common-app essay that would be much appreciated!
Thank you so much! Here is what I have updated.
If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why you would like to study at Duke.
For the majority of my life, I have been told that I will become an engineer. My mom and my grandfather are both engineers and naturally have pushed their passion into my life. My grandfather always says things like " You have the mind of an engineer" and "I think we have a young engineer in the making here". I never disagreed with him because I enjoyed math and science so if that what a person becomes when they like math and science then that is what I will do. It was not until my junior year of high school that I realized that engineering encompassed much more than just math and science and becoming an engineer would be what I want to do with my life. My junior year was the second year I had been a part of the robotics team at my school and last year we set a goal of qualifying for the VEX World Championships. After working tirelessly for months we achieved our goal, and at that point there was no doubt in my mind there was anything else I wanted to do in college. Robotics gave me the chance to apply all of my knowledge of math and science in new and fascinating ways. I discovered robotics was more about problem solving and creative thinking rather than building or programming. My senior year I decided to take courses that would help reinforce my decision to pursue engineering such as AP Physics, Advanced Topics in Mathematics, Multivariable Calculus, and Introduction to Engineering.
As clichĂŠ as it may be, when I stepped on campus at Duke, I knew that it would be a place I would love to spend four years or more of my life. The beauty of the buildings and landscape along with the atmosphere of the people heavily influenced my decision to apply to Duke as my number one choice. After experiencing the campus through a tour of the University, the academics and college life offered by Duke were clearly extraordinary. Not only Duke's reputation as one of the top schools in the nation, but also from what I was able to see first hand while on campus helped me realize that at Duke I would be challenged and pushed to be the best student I can be. Some opportunities that stand out with the Pratt School of Engineering for are chances to pursue a minor or certificate in another area of interest, undergraduate research, and opportunities outside of the classroom such as study abroad, clubs, and design contests. Pratt also acts a perfect stepping stone into my future; with so many opportunities for jobs and research with the connections Duke has, choosing to study engineering at Duke becomes a easy decision. Duke's size offers the best of both for me worlds in the sense that I can receive the personal attention and recourses with smaller class sizes but also receive a feeling of a larger campus and student body with a distinguished sports program. Most importantly though, if I were fortunate enough to attend Duke I know it would be a place where I would be happy, successful, and proud with everything I am able to accomplish as Blue Devil.
Okay two points:
1) Im a bit worried about how you introduce yourself in your first two sentences. Im assuming you are an asian male (im guessing Indian) who's going to pursue engineering because of a passion in math and science? The problem with that is that there are a ton of those (including myself!!). I would try and find a way to differentiate yourself from the stereotype.
2) Your second paragraph is definetely stronger than your first attempt. However, my recommendation is to become even more specific! Most midsized prestigious universities can be substituted for pratt in your essay so you need to show just how special the Pratt school of Engineering is to you. Perhaps mention a specific professor who inspired you after watching his seminar (either in person or on youtube). Maybe a very specific course is offered there that no other university has?
