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Essay-help my english


mike1973 1 / 1  
Oct 30, 2012   #1
Hello. I want to improve my english, so I will be happy, if you check and criticize my essay, which we should have written at home. I 've already delivered it to my teacher yesterday, but we are having holiday now and I am curious how I wrote it. Thanks for any comment. Have a nice day :)

People of all ages should do sport
Nowadays, there is a serious problem of increasing too fat and lazy people. Experts and doctors say that many illnesses are results of doing no physical activities and bad eating habits.

The more physical activities we do, the more healthier we are. Running in a forest, playing football in a pitch or gym, doing karate or whatever other sport help our lungs and hearth to be healthy. We must breath often and intensive when we do sport because of higher hearth frequency.

The most effective way how to lose weight is playing sport. No diet is as effective as activity that we can do via sport. After few months of playing sport our body can be healthier and younger and some illnesses can disappear.

When we have same interests with our friends, the sport can be one of the way how to spend our free time together. We can meet new people and create new relationships or contacts . It is better than sitting at facebook.

Some people say that sport costs a lot of money because of expensive equipment. If we decide for golf or rugby, then we will have to be ready for spending of more money. People who do not have too much money but want to do something for their health can choose for example running or swimming.

It does not matter which sport we decide for but it should make us happy. We either can sit home at computers or do something positive for us. We always have at least two options.

(250 words were allowed)

pperotti 1 / 4 1  
Oct 30, 2012   #2
Hello!
I think you need to go over the grammar in the essay.

increasing too fat and lazy people

Change it! Try "increase in the number of obese and sedentary people."

The more physical activities we do, the more healthier we are.

"The more physical activities we do, the healthier we become"

Hope this helped you.
OP mike1973 1 / 1  
Oct 31, 2012   #3
Thank you. When we write essays in school, we have 45 minutes to write something. I have probelm with english, we rarely write something but I am happy for any advice that can help me.


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