I need help review this essay ("the greatest goal you hope to achieve")

type an essay explaining the greatest goal you hope to achieve upon completion of your college education.

"College is like any other journey in life, there is a beginning and there is an end. In the beginning of each journey no one is sure of what to expect or what can be accomplished, but nearing the end of that journey everyone hopes to benefit from their experiences throughout the journey and use what they've learned to achieve success. As I begin my journey at Georgia Tech this coming fall I look forward to all the experiences and the friends in which I will encounter along the way. I know that there will be many obstacles ahead of me, but I believe that my experiences in high school have prepared me to face these challenges that are to come. I also know that when my education draws to an end at Georgia Tech I can benefit from all the knowledge and priceless life lessons that I've gained over my time at Tech. I believe that my greatest achievement upon graduating from Georgia Tech would be to use the lessons that I've learn at Tech to gain employment at an engineering firm, specifically a firm that focuses on alternative energy production, in which I'll be able to gain work experience so that I'll be able to start my own firm one day. I hope to use what I've learned from college and begin a new journey and learn new things through that in order for me to build on my knowledge necessary toward gaining success. "

The greatest goal you hope to achieve is to become an engineer? That's not very impressive, especially as it is a goal shared by all the other applicants to Georgia Tech's engineering program. Perhaps you could talk more about what you hope to achieve as an engineer working in alternative energy production. That might give you something greater to discuss than the hope of one day being gainfully employed.

Please give a little bit more substantial help to other members! Then, I'll spend time helping with your essay.