Prompt: Considering both the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying and the unique aspects of the University of Pennsylvania, what do you hope to learn from and contribute to the Penn community?
The University of Pennsylvania is a renowned institution internationally for its academic dominance in many different fields ranging from engineering to business as well as its active student body in terms of the community. As an aspiring engineer, this university would provide me with a rigorous and useful education that will be useful in whatever I choose to do as an engineer. In addition, I have contributed to my community before and I hope to continue doing so in college.
I hope to pursue a career in mechanical engineering in the near future, and Penn's excellent engineering school would help me progress immensely in my aspirations. My main goal as a mechanical engineer is that I want to be able to design vehicles that will do a better job in conserving energy. I am dedicated to this goal because the conservation of energy is a very prominent issue that needs to be addressed and resolved and many positive consequences will come of this such as lower flight costs and less dependence on fossil fuels. If I want to be able to make a difference in my field, however, I am going to need to be well educated on the fundamentals of mechanics and dynamics. The University of Pennsylvania offers one of the most comprehensive and sought after engineering programs in the United States and quite possibly in the world. If I study engineering at Penn, I will have a head start over many others in my field and I will hopefully be able to steer more focus toward aerodynamics of vehicles. I do know, however, that I will be fully prepared to take on these challenges with an education from Penn and that I should have very little trouble in achieving my goal.
While I will be preparing myself for the future at Penn, I can also contribute to the university in many different ways. I have experience in helping the community in a multitude of situations. Throughout my high school life, I have accrued almost 350 hours in community service in a variety of different areas. I help coordinate an effort to feed a homeless shelter, have been a Youth Teacher Assistant at the Smithsonian Institution's summer camp, and have volunteered at the library. I have also tutored many students before as a member of two honor societies at my school and could be able to do the same in college. Finally, I also have about 130 hours of work experience that I earned at an internship. I was interning at the New Jersey Institute of Technology's Real World Connections Program and had developed an Android application. Therefore, I am already experienced in contributing to the communities and I can do the same at Penn.
The University of Pennsylvania can help me in my future endeavors by providing me with the necessary education for success. In return, I can contribute to the university's community in different areas as I have already done throughout high school. My experience can definitely help to better the Penn community and Penn can help to better my career.
The University of Pennsylvania is a renowned institution internationally, for its academic dominance in many different fields, ranging from engineering to business as well as its active student body in terms of the community.
My main goal as a mechanical engineer is that I want to be able to design vehicles that will do a better job in conserving energy.
I am dedicated to this goal because the conservation of energy is a very prominent issue that needs to be addressed and resolved, and many positive consequences will come of this, such as lower flight costs and less dependence on fossil fuels.
I have also tutored many students before as a member of two honor societies at my school, and could be able to do the same in college.
I was interning at the New Jersey Institute of Technology's Real World Connections Program and have developed an Android application.
In return, I can contribute to the university's community in different areas, as I have already done throughout high school.
They'll be lucky to have you as a student! Good luck with school!
:)
I like the main ideas of your essay, but they all seem a little bit ordinary and bland. (Sorry, but I try to be as honest as I can.) I would suggest you recount a personal experience or talk about your background and what drives you to study what you want to. Let them see what's behind all of your motivation. Integrate that with what you have right now, then we have a winner! :D
