When I was ten years old, I dreamed of becoming either a professional basketball player in the WNBA or a professional table tennis player representing the United States at the Olympics and World Championships. Throughout the years, I have
You used the same sentence form 2 x in a row here at the start. Let's cut off the beginning fo the second sentence, like this:
Throughout the years,
I have wanted to become either a stockbroker or economist, or a lawyer, a doctor, etc.--- that will vary the rhythm.
I think etc. is a weak term to use. "and so on" is better if that sort of device is necessary.
I love to smile. And I love to make others smile, which is why giving back to the community and helping others is so important to me.
Replace this cheesy part with some discussion of a few fields you MIGHT go into. Know what I mean? Instead of acting like you really have no idea, tell us what the possibilities are. What are the three fields you are most likely to get into?
Not only has community service helped me--- maybe you should use the theme of service to explain your career ideas.
It's not impressive to just say you do not know. That is cool when you say it, but then show a few examples of possibilities. I hope this makes sense... :-)