During my earlier years, being the typical teenager, I was self-absorbed; I cared little about the needs of others. I thought, "why should I waste my time doing things for people if I wouldn't benefit from it?" Later my statement haunted my mind when my brother and family were in need of aid. I was ashamed I had ever had those thoughts.
My brother came down with viral meningitis encephalitis during his freshman year of high school. At first, I was angry to see all my brother's potential disappear. I couldn't bare to see what he could become: a vegetable. I always looked up to him as an idol, as if he could take on the whole world with his own two hands. Things were getting progressively worse but something softened my heart; I noticed the physical and emotional hand from others and how these small acts of selflessness filled my heart with gratitude. They made it easier to bare our burdens.
My heart completely changed. I discovered there were many unfortunate people who needed me. I now believed and wanted to help others. I searched for opportunities where I would be able to fulfill my desire of helping others. To learn more of what was happening in other countries, I researched by reading articles and watched a documentary on what was happening in Darfur. A couple of my friends and I started to do fundraisers such as bake sales and car washes to raise money for these people suffering in Darfur. I have involved myself in many service projects over the years, in Boy Scout eagle projects, bringing happiness to those in retirement communities and other countless events.
I also have participated in the Special Olympics, in areas close to where I live, for many years. I guided the Olympians by helping them play in a soccer or basketball game as well as helping them into the pool to begin their swimming race. Out of every contribution i made, i have found that the most rewarding part of helping them was to see the smiles on the Olympians faces as they accomplished their herculean tasks. knowing I contributed to their happiness, i realized the one who benefits from service the most is myself. My naive thought of there being no benefits from helping others was wrong. These experiences have changed my attitude and the way I perceive life. I know that I will always look for the opportunity to offer a helping hand with a glad and willing heart.
My naive thought of there being no benefits from helping others was wrong. You need to reword this sounds kind of off.
okay, thank you for reading it!
You know, I think you can achieve the same effect without being so hard on yourself at the start. You do not have to say you actually thought those things. You could just say you were not giving consideration to the suffering of others. Many of us can relate to that.
So, I wonder if you could revise it to keep the revelation, but go easy on yourself.
okay that sounds great, i wasn't sure if colleges wanted to hear of a big change or not. thank you!
This essay really moved me. I am as hard on myself, too. However, may I revise a few sentence for you :
A viral meningitis encephalitis
If this is the disease/illness' name, I suggest you to capitalize V,M and E
B I couldn't bare to see what he could become: a vegetable
I'm assuming that you don't really mean a transformation, human to vegetable. Find the proper word on the internet to describe such patient.
Things were getting progressively worse
Use gradually to replace progressively or to eliminate "progressively"
i realized the one who benefits from service the most is myself so your statement in paragraph1 stands.
Finally I hope your brother gets better; good luck to your admission :D
thank you very much, you were a lot of help
Becca, i really like the topic you chose, and the flow of your writing. Keep up the good work because who knows...Harvard might accept you!
Thank you Christine!
You might want to explain this meningitis encephalitis. Maybe it's just me, but I have no idea what kind of disease that is.
